RDH: APRIL 2024

02/04/24

Utilise own advice! Get pro-active!

04/04/24

Not being idle within practice is key.

LNAB

Éabha Campbell - DEPICTA MUSCA in Catalyst - beautifully macabre.

Stephanie Loveless - “This Street is a Song” - part of Sonorities Festival.

Blue Whale/Maeve McGreevy/Tom Hughes - “Last Immediate Moving Image” at VAULT.

07/04/24

“A Brush With… Nalini Malani”

“…slippage of imagery…”

Clothing detail work on “Last Fancy Dress” and a promising start on “They Had It Coming”. Keep it raw - how do you describe that?

11/04/24

Submission 1.

16/04/24

Submission 2. Ran out of time for drawing work.

17/04/24

Sketchbook work.

S.A.W.E.D.

18/04/24

Submission 3 - an open call.

21/04/24

Studio - pre paint notes:

• Headscarf - maroon?

• Background - a sickly yellow / green (not unlike “Amy Study”.

Now that the canvas is covered (no more blankness) - it’s show time.

24/04/24

Dublin bound. Really bad that I have gotten out of the way writing in this. [slaps wrist].

S.V. confirmed! Class!

Popped into the LAB Gallery to see “Emergency Knowledge: The Missing Archives - Vagabond Reviews”. Great to see Save Our Sperrins highlighted among other important causes.

25/04/24

OK, so I’ve been putting this off for a while and now, it seems that bus time is usually RD time these days.

Project idea I had maybe ten years ago: record a sitter - up close in portrait whilst asking questions - mix of mundane and psychological. Between each question - leave around 20 - 30 seconds. The sitter remains silent throughout - more of an introspective process. The idea was to then take still of video and convert to painting.

What if…

test demo screenshot from 2014

instead of a static camera on tripod (that I tried back in 2014) - the footage moved in, out and around the sitter?

And…

instead of working off individual stills on separate works - merging onto one surface. Showing a variation in composition, scale and method of painting depending on the image taken throughout the test?

So, let’s take stock…

Four submissions done in past 6 weeks plus an SV!

Sketchbook work tonight - since brain is firing on a few more cylinders than usual.

27/04/24

Four years. Surreal.

28/04/24

Studio time.

Well, after nearly losing it on the skin tones - “THIC” turned out better than I could have hoped. A strange feeling.

30/04/24

“mother tongue” in the MAC - GREAT!

Dorothy Hunter’s work took breath away! Bloody brilliant.

Upper Gallery view of "mother tongue" in the MAC

'Formwork (Nervous Systems)' by Jane Butler

'as much as one can do' by Dorothy Hunter

RDH: MARCH 2021

04/03/21

It’s been a full on week - trying to ease myself in slowly and find my footing again and knowing my limits.

Evenings = questions

05/03/21

UPDATES

06/03/21

Handwriting is a microcosm of the personality.

A good start to “The Infamy of Crete”. Muddy palette so far but for now it’s working.

11/03/21

SorT? tech-check. Target -> 1488 (done).

Bullet points for a smooth six minutes.

Could easily fall into the trap of not doing anything this weekend but I know how it would make me feel if nothing was to happen. Try your best - productive variables.

12/03/21

Good God this text is heavy!

Taking time in the studio. The little pieces of canvas / glass that I’ve been asked to put something on for a student’s project was actually a really good loosening / warming up exercise. I have plenty of little strands laying around and could put paint down / play / experiment / make mistakes for twenty minutes before moving onto wall works. Not a bad idea.

Gold Leaf for step edges possibly?

13/03/21

Some really solid background work to “On Gilded Steps” - a lot of blending work. The scratching around the figures - lets try and keep some of that!

15/03/21

Scanning.

16/03/21

Having to go up above to finish online work just sucks.

18/03/21

Waking up at 4am - chocking. Not good.

WHAT Panel talk

Miriam O’Connor: different coping mechanisms - access to the studio so important - adaptability key to productivity - art to navigate trauma in life - art practice is tool for survival

Austin Ivers: teetering between the two poles of anxiety and boredom.

19/03/21

Really enjoyed taking part in the panel talk yesterday and the podcast is out today. So happy it was recorded before my voice left me completely.

Some more work to “On Gilded Steps” today.

20/03/21

Darkness in control.

“O.G.S.” - Steps are really annoying me. In hindsight I probably would have set the steps differently. now, however, with the background nearly prefect as it is, it could be a disaster to try and adjust the steps and lose that backdrop. I have this painting by Rembrandt rolling around in my head at the minute.

“The Conspiracy of the Batavians under Claudius Civilis” - Rembrandt - 1661/1662

What a game!

21/03/21

Should the bull’s head go black? - went a little too far with it today but it’s fixable.

25/03/21

Remnants of childhood 'treehouse'

Drawing of myself huffing, aged six

Scaling sketches down in scanner is probably a good move. A few good drawings of old family photos tonight.

26/03/21

“T.I.O.C.” looks more like an etching at the minute.

Loose! Emphasis on LOOSE!

27/03/21

Last night was a total nightmare. Floating, panic and chased by a hooded killer. Once caught a falling sensation would wake me up but once I dozed of I was straight back into the nightmare and repeated this process around four or five times.

‘Create and curate your own archive’.

Farewell Fernand.

28/03/21

Marta Dyezkowska Talk

memory / identity / trauma

We should be able to close the door on loss.

Standing with back to camera, an act of defiance against process. Mix memory with current state.

secondcollectivebelfast.com

Really enjoyed this talk today! Watching and listening in made me really nostalgic about LOFT. We should be proud of what we were able to achieve with that space.

29/03/21

“The infamy of Crete” - finished. Not perfect but pretty solid.

30/03/21

Little bit of “T.I.O.C.” was really bugging me so I crept into the studio and fixed it last night.

Today was a case of drawing up a few smaller works and putting down basic paint layers. A promising start.

31/03/21

A quick up and down trip to Belfast for an appointment.

Surviving or THRIVING? - Panel Two Podcast!

On Thursday 18th March, I took part in a panel exchange regarding support and wellbeing in the visual art sector in Ireland. This was the second panel talk of which there will be a total of six - each one focussing on different areas of the creative sector in Ireland. Host by Dr Maureen Gaffney the other artists on the panel were Miriam O’Connor and Austin Ivers. Click below to listen to the podcast!

Surviving or Thriving? was created by the Waterford Healing Arts Trust with the Arts Council of Ireland and I would like to thank them for inviting me to speak and to Visual Artists Ireland for providing support for this panel.

It was great to get to know Miriam and Austin in the lead up and wonderful to hear their thoughts on being an artist during what’s been a rough twelve months.

The other Surviving or Thriving? events run up until the 1st April 2020 and more information about upcoming talks and workshops can be found here.

RDH: JANUARY 2021

03/01/21

‘sub cruce salus’

… too simplistic or is it hard to get ideas across?

04/01/21

Need to leave site.

05/01/21

Elevator pitch: use personal and found imagery to explore notions of trauma, memory and experience. (13 words, 83 characters)

imagery with personal connection - greater impact?

large scale drawings = link between sketchbook and canvas.

06/01/21

FORM —> CONTENT —> FORM —> CONTENT …

Can you distil the feeling of an image?

Play with gesture.

…adding just for the sake doesn’t cut it. Integrate if it adds to a message.

07/01/21

Hillsborough

08/01/21

Growing uncertainty in other areas is just leading to this “deer in headlights” feeling.

09/01/21

Lists are all well and good but to get making again ; that’s what it’s all about.

“Shock” looking good thus far.

10/01/21

Passionate about painting / drawing and interplay between the mark-making of both processes… juxtaposing imagery. How do they sit together?

11/01/21

Still have to show though.

12/01/21

Detail of “Shock” - finished today - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

13/01/21

“As an artist you leave a trace of yourself.”

- Mira Schor

Magnets came and work a treat!

Sketchbook work: 13/01/21

16/01/21

A little slow to get in today but four canvas pieces off the starting block which makes up for it.

18/01/21

21/01/21

…in a jar for the day.

23/01/21

Forgetown Bridge

25/01/21

Sketchbook work

27/01/21

…days just melting into each other.

28/01/21

Not one but two zooms this evening.

29/01/21

Some surprising paint down today. Loosely does it.

Detail of work in progress.

30/01/21

Cold.

Sketchbook work this evening,

NOTE: Check out the music of Nadine Shah.

31/01/21

One clean palette and one sore head.

Interview with Reimagine, Remake, Replay Project

On 10th October (world mental health day) I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the folks at Reimagine, Remake, Replay.

We discussed my experience with mental health issues and my artistic practice. I’d encourage everyone to check out the other speakers from the RRR’s Head and Heart Festival here.

Huge thanks to Stephen , Niamh and all the RRR team for making this interview happen!

RDH: JULY 2020

01/07/20

Some more Matisse-inspired bamboo work for shapes in the foreground and that’s the large painting finished! Title to be confirmed later.

02/07/20

Abrupt awakening.

So “The Hill of the Red Witch” it is. Very close.

Eventually got some good ground work down on two new pieces. Some human hair included.

Painter Julie Curtiss (Instagram: @julietuyetcurtiss) joins us for New Social Environment #77, hosted by Rail Editor at Large Jason Rosenfeld (Instagram: @jm...

Great Julie Curtiss talk with Brooklyn Rail.

03/07/20

LOFT

2013 - 2015: 14 works (over 3 years)

LISNAMUCK

2016 - 2018: 36 works (over 3 years)

2019 - June 2020: 16 works (in 18 months)

That’s crazy!

04/07/20

Really pleased with “Left Out” thus far but the mouth on “RPM” is really annoying me!

05/07/20

QUESTIONS

07/07/20

Working out left hand on “L.O.” is tough. It’s not the shape of it but the lay of the fingers that’s the bother. Pre-mixing … is needed to unify the hands and face. It’s the difference in definition between the upper and lower hands that are jarring a bit.

Days that just don’t go your way. THUMB NEEDS TO BE A FRACTION LONGER!

08/07/20

Working method today is attacking the canvas in micro stages.

NON FINITO = nice idea.

Does something have to look finished before being deemed complete?

Detail of “Left Out”

…I limped home tonight. Painted for nearly 11 hours. Not sure if “Left Out” is done, but it’s bloody close.

09/07/20

… Yes it’s there!

Good drawing time this evening.

10/07/20

Priming, studio cleaning and two little pieces drawn up. Interior one has promise.

11/07/20

The Ruination of the World.

“Rock Pool Memory” - the original drawing is not exact and so the dimensions are a little skew-whiff. Possibly why the painting is not coming together.

12/07/20

Horrible day painting but at least it beats not doing anything at all! “Rock Pool Memory” is just that - a memory.

A sense of critical…. ?

14/07/20

Such as strange pain down arms and shoulders last night. Shake it off or…

Trip to A&E - allergic reaction to insect bites. The usual then.

15/07/20

Studio time.

High contrast in BT’s face might be best avoided. Playing around right now just.

Nice chat with Chloe, Dominic and Niamh - some interesting discussions.

16/07/20

“Hotel ‘78” complete. [] is right - something slightly different about it. Softer maybe.

A nice dull background on “Seashore Jester”.

17/07/20

Applied … again.

18/07/20

Solid studio day. Resurrected “Rock Pool Memory”. Tonal values not there on “Seashore Jester” just yet but happy enough so far. Stumbled across the old Enfield painting that I abandoned four years ago. Decided to give it another crack.

19/07/20

21/07/20

Been a few days of home improvements.

24/07/20

Sketched out little commission and cleaned out palette.

Our friend, interdisciplinary artist Martha Tuttle (@marthatuttle) joins us for a conversation with scholar and curator, Susan Harris in New Social Environme...

Martha Tuttle talk on Brooklyn Rail excellent! Links to antiquity and the tactility of the work is fascinating.

26/07/20

The past few days I’ve literally been going round in circles with “Rock Pool Memory”. Originally I thought executing the proportions properly would have solved any issues that were cropping up but no. I think I’m in two/three minds as to how to approach it so perhaps shelving it isn’t a bad idea for now.

27/07/20

I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and focus on other elements of practice. So today is a drawing and research day.

“ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS”

“ART IS LONG, LIFE IS SHORT” the reversed first two lines of Hippocrates’ ‘Aphorismi’

Nearly six hours of sketchbook work today.

28/07/20

Did not expect to but “Rock Pool Memory” is finished. It really has been an unprecedented time of creativity. Silver lining in a weird and unnerving time.

“Rock Pool Memory” finished.

29/07/20

The Troxler Effect - monsters in the mirror.

Treated myself to some art books.

30/07/20

Detail of ‘Enfield’ painting in progress

Short stint today, Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/07/20

Parts looks OK and then others are close to the point of madness. At least the dead crab looks well.

RDH: APRIL 2020

01/04/20

A day of cleaning.

02/04/20

Enjoyed doing the live stream for Atypical today!

04/04/20

“Inside Man” starting point.

“Titian: Behind Closed Doors”

Ovid’s ‘Metamorphoses’ - The ethics of looking.

05/04/20

Not sure if attempting “The Ferryman” on this scale is the right move.

The falling boy: “Full of Grace”.

Blocking.

Some really good progress in the studio.

06/04/20

Commissions

“If your art doesn’t reflect your family and community then what’s the point?”

Dale Harding - Tateshots

07/04/20

Happy anniversary JG!

Applications.

Never rains but it pours! Buckets needed.

08/04/20

“Full of Grace” coming well. Would like to incorporate ultramarine blue - hint to the Virgin Mary in there (via the window).

Very funny search for a protractor.

09/04/20

Farcical.

Eventually got to painting after helping with a birdbox.

Birdbox with slated roof

"Full of Grace" finished

10/04/20

Should have been “Confessional” exhibition’s natural end.

11/04/20

Such a battle with “Inside Man” at the minute. Struggling with that balance of realistic approach and the drawing mark.

It’s been a while: “I AM NOT A REALIST PAINTER!”

12/04/20

13/04/20

Not overly happy with the finality of “Inside Man” but best to finish up now before I properly overcook it.

14/04/20

All but finished another painting. It’s very strange times indeed.

15/04/20

“Circular Lapse Study” - detail

16/04/20

Six hours and I’m pretty much no further forward than when I started. Going to have to take a completely different route to accomplish this. It would help if I had a goal in mind. Detailed vs Out of Focus. In between? Trying to tackle the green slab all at once isn’t working.

17/04/20

Back to drawing basics turned to mush.

18/04/20

One step forward and four back.

21/04/20

Little talk with VAI’s online café went well with really nice feedback on work in progress and the studio set up.

22/04/20

Meetings.

23/04/20

Some really good painting put down today.

24/04/20

Need to box up and send off!

25/04/20

Reset. Breathe.

26/04/20

Looking. So important. Doesn’t mean you can’t allow for spontaneity or randomness in the process.

“Ferryman” is finished!

27/04/20

A cartwheel with no floor. CT Scans reveal right-sided skull vault fracture and subdural haematoma. Off to Royal Victoria Hospital.

Avulsion fracture to right wrist.

30/04/20

Out of hospital. Time to start recovery process.

RDH: JANUARY 2020

01/01/20

New Decade. A quiet start to the year but with a feeling of resolve and drive to get things done.

02/01/20

“For the dead travel fast.” - Jonathan Harker’s Journal

Bram Stoker’s Dracula

03/01/20

mem: Sickert’s approach to “Portrait of Hugh Walpole” - one of my favourites - could work. Drastic yes but by simplifying the colours… more painterly…. ambiguous.

04/01/20

The Optimism Gap: Locally good. Nationally bad.

“Unsafe” Commission

Finished commission. Looked at Sickert and Dumas. Previously it was haggard and stale.

05/01/20

…relieved!

A lot of scanned drawings tonight.

06/01/20

Renewal

07/01/20

Five posts in five weeks.

09/01/20

“Confessional”

Potential title?

11/01/20

Performed open heart surgery on the 206 today.

“No Remorse” painting is moving very very slowly.

Detail of “No Remorse” in progress

Overthinking personal issues.

12/01/20

Belfast today.

Incense in sunlight

Issues of “crown” install is mind boggling.

DIONYSUS

13/01/20

Office updating and uploading.

14/01/20

Jade Riley wrote a little piece about my practice. Chuffed!

16/01/20

Ideas with Dad for install concepts.

Hodge-Podge.

17/01/20

Bit of breathing issues but otherwise OK.

19/01/20

Winter sunset

“Shoah” - 1985 A film by Claude Lanzmann

Eventually got out of a rut (well even a foot out of the door is good) and got sketching.

22/01/20

“To remove unwanted threads of your past (regrets or mistakes) is to undo the tapestry of your life.” - JLP

24/01/20

CCA Derry

Darren Banks

Agnes Meyer-Brandis

25/01/20

Last night I had the pleasure of attending the opening of “The Dark” in the CCA. Agnes Meyer-Brandis’ work has made me look at geese in a slightly more positive light.

Started two new canvases and pleased with the progress of “Crown of Dionysus”.

27/01/20

“Crown” finished - including wall fixing designed by Dad.

C.E.’s shouldn’t be halted until the weekend.

Finally getting around to reading the collection of art essays by Julian Barnes. I think since I got it the day I visited John in the Royal I’ve been avoiding it.

28/01/20

Late night sketching is better than no sketching at all!

Hatchet sketch

30/01/20

“Time dissolves the story into form, colour, emotion. Modern and ignorant, we re-imagine the story: do we vote for the optimistic yellowing sky, or the grieving greybeard? Or do we end up believing both versions? The eye can flick from one road or one interpretation, to the other: is this what was intended?

Julian Barnes - “Géricault: Catastrophe into Art”

31/01/20

All in all a horrible day.

RDH: JULY 2019

01/07/19

Slow but important work on “Bogland” today. Thinking a lot about Sickert.

Detail of "Bogland Sack Race"

Fast sketchbook work

It’s been a rough week but finally seeing positives.

Sketchbook time.

02/07/19

Meditate and Release.

03/07/19

Found ‘failed’ middle panel of “Pioneer Studies”. Works on it’s own merit. Must have been a weak link at the time.

Rework maybe?

04/07/19

Submission sent. A glutton for punishment.

06/07/19

Bit later in the day for studio time but spent longer tonight to make up for it.

Some texture with sawdust.

Colours are popping and really contrast from the blurred background. Still trying to maintain the mantra of “MAKE EVERY PAINTING A STUDY” but it’s hard when the focal point is a figure where it seems to be falling short.

More integration of sawdust needed? Question everything?

The smallest brush in the arsenal.

07/07/19

Didn’t get to sleep until 5am. It’s not my fault.

Crisp morning breeze. Brought a rose in.

Staring at work, the foreground, which I tolerated a few weeks ago, now seems flat. Texture, perspective and overlapping of light and shade required.

09/07/19

A.A.H.

10/07/19

Francis Bacon mask

13/07/19

Ballydugan Mill

14/07/19

Amazing day at G &N’s wedding yesterday! Trying to get a bit of studio work in now before a much needed early night!

Frustrating. Two steps forward, two steps back. No better off but not worse off either.

15/07/19

“Never mind that nobody bought them! Do them! Tell your story!”

Faith Ringgold

“He who follows is always behind.”

Paul Cézanne

16/07/19

How to get back in the creative mindset?

19/07/19

“Asking for Trouble” - pen on paper

‘What gets measured gets done’ is a quote is heard rattled around today.

20/07/19

Plenty of little niggly bits to run through. Let’s not fall into that usual trap of realism!

“I.N.A.R.P.”

Am I focusing too much on that main figure?

Right… don’t panic!

22/07/19

Strange birthday. Nothing bad, just strange.

Beautiful sketchbook from Jan.

23/07/19

Didn’t get through. Plough on!

25/07/19

Intense building.

27/07/19

Trying not to waste to so much paint. Working on “Sack Race” - shadows and sack texture.

“Ferryman”: painterly background. Leaving it early.

28/07/19

“As an artist you should be the one to sing off key.”

Nicholas Hlobo

A non-studio art day. Starting new sketchbook. Smaller sale seems to suit drawing technique. I think I came to this realisation some time ago but it must have slipped the memory.

Arena’s Cindy Sherman: #untitled was great! Chameleon. Film stills and centre pieces are still some of my favourite works.

29/07/19

“I trust you to make the narrative”

Olafur Eliasson

31/07/19

“Art can offer a chance for self examination”

Olafur Eliasson

RDH: JUNE 2019

01/06/19

Almost a disaster. Too hung up on certain elements and it is holding the piece back. So the notion of blurring the background and having the foreground sharply in focus works. Execution at the moment is lacking sadly. Need to figure out how to fix the mesh fence but will need to redo all the good work from today. Lesson Learnt.

02/06/19

Essentially yesterday was a pure slug fest in the studio.

Action is better than inaction. Working out grid for fence work.

07/06/19

Great to meet up with folks today.

GOLDEN THREAD GALLERY VISIT:

"The Telepaths" by Susan MacWilliam

"Kim Happiness" by Philippe Chancel

THE MAC VISIT:

"Limbo Land" by Christopher James Burns.

Stunning solo exhibition!

Frances Hegarty and Andrew Stones: "The Land That..."

Moving video work and installations.

Engine Room Gallery visit:

Solo show by John McMacken

Belfast School of Art Degree Show:

Leoni Hill

Nina Johnston

Latisha Reihill

Lauren Ciara McConnell

Belfast School of Art Degree Shows were great. Some outstanding work. Nina Johnston’s tree installation on level 6 is amazing. Regardless of levels/grades that many of the graduates are embarking on that’s the really exciting part.

Looking back, I adored my time in university but detested my degree show. All but one piece has been destroyed and it was the start of a huge, and still ongoing learning curve that’s led my practice to where it is.

Meeting in the evening went really well. Some good feedback and ideas for an upcoming project.

08/06/19

Little break from the studio today to recharge from the overload of art from yesterday.

11/06/19

“Frank Bowling - What do Artists Do All Day?”

12/06/19

The beginnings of planning an exhibition layout.

“Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a strength”

Katy Grannan

“Dana Shutz: How Do You Depict A Feeling?”

15/06/19

Detail of the removal process.

Bit of start and stop in the studio but fixative giveth and fixative taketh away!

Just spied Grace McMurray’s piece in the Royal Academy documentary.

16/06/19

“Paula Rego: Secrets and Stories” - Great way to start the day!

“Depression is like a crown of thorns”

Paula Rego

Dander down to the river with the dogs.

More pushing back on “Sack Race” although I could have easily got sucked into working on tiny details and not looked at the whole picture.

Treat every painting as a study.

17/06/19

Glazing, Hatching, Cross Hatching, Direct, Sfumato, Painterly, Impasto, Staining, Dripping, Gestural, Broken Strokes, Dotting, A La Prima, Patches, Feathers, Scumbling, Washes, Bravara, Directional.

Sketchbook work.

19/06/19

Knowledge / Creativity / Inspiration

Beginnings / Liberation

21/06/19

Summer Solstice. Pleased with how mesh fence is coming.

22/06/19

Need to let go of aiming to get the little things perfect in the work. Ultimately its holding up the process. Obviously not saying to go full ‘Sloppy Joe’ on it but recognising when things get knit picky - take a step back and reassess time spent on something inconsequential.

Perfection is an illusion.

23/06/19

Little break day. Sophia Campbell on “Sky’s PAOTY 2019”.

24/06/19

There’s no sugar coating it. Intrusive thoughts bombarding for practically 8 straight hours.

Embarrassing, frustrating but mainly just terrifying. I don’t want them anymore.

25/06/19

It will take time to get to grips with what is going on.

27/06/19

Currently going through potential imagery. I think its good to scan through images from time to time to build up ideas.

30/06/19

Getting to grips with terms and conditions and sorting out a plan of action together.

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.

RDH: 27/05/18 - 30/06/18

27/25/18

Munk Debates

NB:- "Imprint": washes over selected charcoal marks makes for a more painterly and softer outcome whilst still retaining the drawing element - it's just not as overwhelming.  Marrying the two worlds.  Artistically I'm in a good place.  It's utilising time more effectively.

28/05/18

On Hodler's "Night":  covered figure personifies death as an intensification of sleep.  On the back of the canvas Hodler wrote: "There is many a people who lies down to rest in the evening but who does not wake up in the morning."

"Night" by Ferdinand Hodler - 1899/90 - Museum of Fine Arts Bern

"Riot" and "Chidren of the Stage" started.

"Children of the Stage" - early progress.

Haven't painted on board in two years.  Keep forgetting how forgiving the surface is.

"Riot" piece started.

29/05/18

Hot air balloon in trouble over Draperstown medical centre.

Started small canvas of "Cult" drawing I did five years ago.  Been a long time but its always good to keep everything - just in case.

"Cult" painting in progress.

30/05/18

Let's see what happens.

02/06/18

Playing about with "The Mountain of the Heights" - particularly the sky.  Intangible so the marks should be also.

Early layers of sky

03/06/18

"Rosetta II" by Jenny Saville - oil on watercolour paper mounted on board - 2005/06

"I want to be a painter of modern life, and modern bodies." - Jenny Saville.

A.F. born today.

More progress in the sky of "The Mountain of the Heights".

04/06/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" and "Imprint" on the studio wall.

05/06/18

Notes from a previous workshop:

• Turn off distractions

• Centred space

• Give yourself permission to move your practice forward.

• Elevator pitch - needs work.

• Find focus and priorities.

• Studio days - regimented routine.

• Be persistent and consistent.

• Find unproductive habits + break them.

• Defend creative time.

• Slow down and hear your own ideas.

"Creativity is not a talent - it's a way of operating." - John Cleese

When you value serendipity, you start noticing it at work right away.

07/06/18

Awarded iDA from Atypical Gallery and the Arts Council of Northern Ireland!

09/06/18

Degree show work entitled "My Darlene" by photographer Ryan Hamilton.

Installation shot from Stephanie Tanney's degree show. Not unlike Holder's shrouded figure.

A close up of one of Karl Hagan's stunning paintings at the Belfast School of Art degree show.

One of Aimee Melaugh's atmospheric paintings at her degree show.

Saw a lot of art.  A LOT OF ART.

Belfast School of Art degree show was fantastic but there were four stand out artists:

Ryan Hamilton in photography.

Stephanie Tanney in sculpture.

Karl Hagan in painting

Aimee Melaugh in painting.

The Golden Thread Gallery group exhibition "After an Act" was great.

"Submerge Form (Red)" by Deb Covell - 2017

David Moore's show in Belfast Exposed was really interesting.

The back wall of David Moore's exhibition entitled "Lisa and John" in Belfast Exposed.

10/06/18

Whiterocks beach just outside Portrush.

11/06/18

Zero energy.  There are not enough hours in the day.  Structure.  Guilty of putting off work because of convenience.

Some sketchbook work done today but not enough.

13/06/18

Is yellow is the colour of hope?

"Selvportrett I Helvvette" by Edvard Munch - 1903 - The Munch Museum, Oslo

16/06/18

"Painting 1946" by Francis Bacon. Part of the MoMA collection.

Bacon was fascinated by butcher shops as a child.  The figure in the painting said to be pre-war Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain - known for carrying an umbrella.  This work is raw power, beauty and horror rolled in one.

My painter's table of 8 years.

18/06/18

Detail of "Cult" painting in progress.

Paint/draw with purpose.  Reasons - just because I can't pin them down doesn't mean they aren't there.

20/06/18

Lubaina Himid - take a "given history" from found objects and then "paint a history on them that isn;t as much talked about."  Daytime can't be squandered - every hour counts.

23/06/18

Bonnie keeping me company in the studio today.

Painted pretty much up to 10pm tonight,.  Stuck in the zone.

24/06/18

Jan enjoying the sunset at Rosses Point, Sligo.

Trip to Rosses Point.  So hot too and great to bump into Rob and Sally.  Small world.

25/06/18

View of "An Irish Airman Foresees His Death" in the Hamilton Gallery, Sligo.

Great to see familiar names (Lisa Ballard, Alison Pilkington and Clement McAleer) in the Hamilton Gallery's group exhibition 'An Irish Airman Foresees His Death'.

One of my favourite pieces in the Hamilton Gallery had to be "Spirit of the Aviator" by Brian McDonagh.

26/06/18

Trip to The Model in Sligo town before home.  A wonderful space.

Outside The Model, Sligo.

Massive painting by Antje Majewski in the "Future Perfect" exhibition, The Model, Sligo

28/06/18

Close up of "Cult" - Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

Slowly getting back into the rhythm of working again.  Finished "Cult".  The small child is considerably creepier than expected.  More work to "Mountain of the Heights" - been looking at Cezanne's multiple treatments of Mont Sainte-Victoire for some sort of guidance.

Getting there with "The Mountain of the Heights".

Extremely hot in the studio - close to 30°C.

30/06/18

I have Sickert's "Ennui" on my mind. 

"Ennui" by Walter Richard Sickert - 1914 - part of Tate Collection