RDH: NOVEMBER 2024

01/11/24

Pretty sure this is Dad in the Vectra circa 2000.

02/11/24

H, F & M.

…taking a back seat.

04/11/24

Escalation

05/11/24

Late night home.

06/11/24

The fun never stops!

07/11/24

Collected. No late night art for me this month. Exhaustion has taken over.

08/11/24

Proposal started. Excited to stretch and prime canvas tomorrow! Nerd Alert!

In the chaos of the past few weeks, I forgot to note that I’ve had a lovely delivery of a 10m roll of canvas and primer.

09/11/24

Didn’t realise I had so much primer! Two canvases, stretched and primed with one coat (plus one bloodied thumb).

Sketchbook time - this definitely needs time allotted to…

… came back to finish off the two drawings started earlier on. It can be done - just needs some discipline and manoeuvring.

10/11/24

‘Natural Alignments’

GET OUT THERE!

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***Updating from loss and eventual return of diary***

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12/11/24

Paola Bernardelli

Ted Pim

Darren Murray

MAC Show - beautiful and just a joy to immerse yoursself in. Wonderful homage.

Weird seeing D.M.’s paintings again after so long. Remember getting my graduation photos from NWRC in front of them.

17/11/24

Can’t believe I’ve lost track of RD. First time ever in fourteen plus years and quite annoyed at myself.

ADAPT - MOVE ON - WORK

Primed canvases with second coat. In terms of C’s submission, materials gathering and experimentation ongoing.

18/11/24

Dublin - Day 1. Lights out in middle of set up.

19/11/24

GTG a great success. Good night had by all.

20/11/24

Dublin Day 3. Brian Maguire in the Hugh Lane. Glorious large scale works and great to see some old favourites I first saw in VOID a few years ago.

Mariechen Danz at the Project Arts Centre - Shadows and Spines.

Douglas Hyde Gallery - ‘LAND’ group show. Beautiful video work from Pinar Öğrenci in situ - videos on display will change to change throughout the run. Tried to get into another space - was not allowed with suitcase in tow.

Lastly the LAB before the bus home. Vanessa Daws’ show inspired by endurance swimming pioneer Mercedes Gleitze. Great show but still filled me with anxiety looking at open water.

Home … and finished submission.

21/11/24

Reunited with diary!

24/11/24

Studio - started commission. Beginning to incorporate moss into c.m.s piece - painting into the final layer of primer. Waiting game.

More progress on ‘L.Y.s.V’.

Love was spread a little in the studio today - bits and pieces worked on in different areas. Covering all the bases.

27/11/24

Dublin again!

28/11/24

RDH: FEBRUARY 2024

01/02/24

Beginnings…

02/02/24

…officially taken a back seat. That’s OK though. Needs - Must. Doesn’t mean the grey matter stops!

I mind a ‘Thunderball’ poster with a table in it - or was it N.S.N.A.?

Knots - Riddled.

03/02/24

20:11 - Malcolm John Kielt born - 7lbs 10oz.

Jan was amazing.

09/02/24

I have been thinking about what was put to [redacted] for the [redacted]. Advice could (and should) be taken on board closer to home.

Certain circumstances, mean that practice has taken a back seat - as it should - but this shouldn’t be an excuse to down tools completely and end any creative activity that could be happening. I don’t know if I could fully switch off anyway.

Just because the practical studio and office / sketchbook time is lowered doesn't mean all artistic outlets dry up! There is room in other spaces. Even now, trying to carve out some creative time will be important. Use any spare time wisely - but also enjoy the early days of baby number 2!

10/02/24

Studio cleaning and some posthumous signing this morning.

Had time cleared for the studio for a few hours - just to get some paint down when no sooner had I started, the skirting man arrived.

The best laid plans etc etc.

15/02/24

16/02/24

BEEP BEEP!

17/02/24

“A Brush with…. Wilhelm Sasnel”.

“I do not control painting; I follow it.”

Wilhelm Sasnel

Some studio work - bit of a no-go. Need to re-energise the on-the-go paintings somehow OR start from scratch OR (3rd option):

Finding - or trying to find a new rhythm. Tough going but we’ll get there. What have I done in the past when I’ve come to a cul-de-sac?

DRAWING BOARD! Practical Next Steps.

18/02/24

Plan set out to be productive this evening - … had other ideas.

Submitted!

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IX

XIII

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20/02/24

THRESHOLD Gallery, Belfast showcasing work as part of the Golden Thread Gallery Collection.

22/02/24

Ciarraí MacCormac at Ulster Presents.

Pond(er) at Catalyst Arts.

23/02/24

“Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.”

Voltaire

25/02/24

“A Brush with… Stanley Witney”

(…a painting has to get ugly before it can be beautiful. If you go straight to the beautiful, you’re aiming at the pretty.)

Two canvases started. Badgers’ is quite interesting already.

Fingers crossed.

28/02/24

“A.J.#240” - well I fell asleep during that podcast. Riveting.

29/02/24

Sketchbook studies.

RDH: JUNE 2023

03/06/23

Late night transferring… some drawings that have slipped through the net over the years.

04/06/23

Early rise - Early balloon

“A Brush With… Phyllida Barlow”

Two new canvases sketched out.

06/06/23

Charys Wilson at the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

Clinton Kirkpatrick at the Black Box, Belfast

08/06/23

Test prints in the post today!

09/06/23

Watch this space.

10/06/23

Studio cleaned, layered on two new smaller pieces, and cleaned palette.

11/06/23

…no more diddly-dallyin’, let’s get right on into this Sunday studio session. (IYKYK)

Substantial progress on “Put it Away”. Little prayer piece, not so much.

12/06/23

So “Put it Away” moving along nicely and a little surprisingly. The new paints are making a difference, I think.

13/06/23

Visit to the Belfast School of Art Degree Show.

Eimhéar Atkinson

Michael Doherty

Rachel McCallin

Éabha Campbell

Mollie Browne

Ciaran Dallat

Hannah Williamson

14/06/23

Didn’t get to sketch tonight as intended but there will be time set aside.

Mythology / Semiotics

…venturing onwards…

It’s just dawned on me that Saturdays will alter. Well, they’ll change a good few times in the coming years. But - as always, adapt, re-organise, create, repeat.

15/06/23

After all that graft … to be left at home.

Lovely comment today. Left painting over to Catalyst for showcase and auction coming up.

18/06/23

Studio time now. Let’s see where these go.

Quick notes for Prey/Pray:

• charcoal first

• contrast facial tones

• less marks in hair - blurred or subdued

Quick notes for “In a Corner/ Huff”

• Scrape paint on walls - flatter

• T-Shirt work

NB: Didn’t get as much done as I would like to.

19/06/23

PRINTS HAVE DROPPED!!!

20/06/23

FB Memories - use to dust cobwebs off? Also just having the small sketchbook close by - for out and about.

Is it too fuzzy? Probably do no harm to have the mini sketchbook around with me - as was the original idea for it.

One thing I have noticed, and it’s a good thing. With the two journeys on the bus three times a week and the time at lunch, I’ve noticed some considerably more writing / thinking time / ideas coming into RD.

I’ve even started bringing a book with me on the bus. Although The Iliad was probably a poor first choice. I am eager to delve into mythology / symbolism again.

The legend of “Bisclavret” has been crawling through my head the past few days.

IIW = IMAGES IN WAITING

21/06/23

Quick stop to see the work in Catalyst’s Showcase.

Very fast and very loose sketchbook study.

22/06/23

23/06/23

Our beautiful Bonnie, my studio assistant and my dad’s blonde shadow passed away in her sleep last night. Everyone is hurting. 12 and a half wonderful years. The best girl.

24/06/23

…called in to say hello… folds around eye went in such a way that it looked like he didn’t have a socket let alone an eye. Hard to explain.

Quick Question = Very Quick Yes

25/06/23

“A Brush With… Jacqueline Humphries”.

Finished “Let Us Pray”. Areas successful, others not.

28/06/23

Dublin Bound.

"Cailleach boy ii" by Kian Benson Bailes

"Singing Toadfish (emptying the lungs to fill my heart" by Kian Benson Bailes

Culchie boy, I love you / Grá mo chroí thú, mo chábóigín féin – Kian Benson Bailes at the Project Arts Centre.

"Small Earth (Eden)" by Katherine Sankey

"Swallow" by Katherine Sankey

“an atom bomb in each morsel of life” by Katherine Sankey in the LAB Gallery. Beautiful aroma in that first box space.

Sunset over Slieve Gallion

RDH: JUNE 2021

03/06/21

Canvas stripping, stretching and some sewing experimentation.

04/06/21

Priming canvas is such a messy business!

05/06/21

Once the work is made, build bridges to your audience.

Artists need to band together!

Anne Imhof - finding refuge in the blur.

Sketched up new canvases.

06/06/21

Easily worked up - relax.

09/06/21

Finally getting round to cleaning garage and setting paint out. Asked if I’d like to be featured in a takeover. Chuffed!

Bit of a mixed bag in studio today. On wooden piece, that image just sucks you in and spits you out! With the large canvas started (‘Man Digging’ - working title) it’s quite a forgiving composition and palette working well so far.

10/06/21

“An archive of emotions”

Dr. Kate McLean

Didn’t get shortlisted.

11/06/21

12/06/21

Reading group outside this morning.

13/06/21

Some good, solid progress today.

16/06/21

So grateful to be included in Paint-Tube Dublin by Louise Wallace.

Sketchbook Studies

18/06/21

First vaccine received today!

19/06/21

Work on small portrait today - title undecided as yet.

‘The Eternal Bride’ myth.

22/06/21

Memory is forgetting.

A little mid-week push.

23/06/21

“A Brush with … Julian Opie”

So so close to finishing “Moon Boy”.

24/06/21

Some good sketchbook work this afternoon. Looking forward to getting to Belfast tomorrow.

25/06/21

Great to get into the MAC shows today, sadly didn’t have time to get round anywhere else.

Ambera Wellmann

Maya Balcioglu

Jaap Pieters

Will have to wait another little while for rings.

26/06/21

Studio time!

“Moon Boy” finished!

30/06/21

Ballyliffen

RDH: NOVEMBER 2020

01/11/20

Focus required…

…reaching it back to integrity of practice.

Large scale drawings?

02/11/20

Eventual studio time - detail of “Misunderstood” in progress

03/11/20

Great to get imagery into some semblance of order.

“Thinking through making.” - Joy Gerrard during interview with GTG. Watch here.

Some good sketchbook work tonight.

06/11/20

“Misunderstood” finished.

07/11/20

Reusing one canvas and starting another.

08/11/20

…settling back into a new routine… still healing.

10/11/20

11/11/20

IMMA Talk: From the Rego Studio.

13/11/20

Limbo-Land yet again.

14/11/20

Finding it difficult to concentrate with all going on. Just wish that aspects were sorted so that some kind of routine could be adhered to.

Some results but not all.

Detail of “Norwegian Nude” - work in progress.

…giving up the ghost on the little ‘go cart’ piece. It just went stale but that’s OK. It wasn’t the right time.

16/11/20

Some sketchbook work tonight.

19/11/20

Absolutely baltic in the studio.

Studio Shot: 19/11/20

20/11/20

Mostly focused on “Norwegian Nude” today but building up layers on other pieces too.

Left to Right: “Troublesome” - “Shock” - “Norwegian Nude”

22/11/20

Detail of hand in “Norwegian Nude” in progress.

Really good progress today.

23/11/20

BP 158/113

26/11/20

Site update

27/11/20

Really great online talk from the Garter Lane Arts Centre: Chloe Austin in conversation with Matt Higgs, Kitsch Doom, and Ciara O Neill.

Did a few quick sketch of the speakers as they discussed their practices.

29/11/20

…readjust, centre, breathe and focus on what matters.

30/11/20

After having a long, hard look at “Troublesome” - came to the realisation that figure is complete. Nice to leave it loose in parts. It explains what it needs to without having to divulge anything else.

Bit of building work in the background and it’s finished.

Decorations are up and a little winter halo to round off a very odd month.

RDH: AUGUST 2020

01/08/20

So saddened to hear of the passing of Chris Ledger. She was a true friend of the arts in NI and helped me in both a professional and personal capacity. Her tenacity and drive will be sorely missed.

02/08/20

Cleaning and priming.

03/08/20

‘Seashore Jester’ … over-painted to the point of no return - burnt and slashed. Good progress on “Enfield Study” though.

Close up of “Enfield Study”.

It’s finally happened! I’ve had a little painting accepted into this year’s RUA exhibition!

04/08/20

Wee day off.

05/08/20

“Enfield Study” finished.

Watched ‘Apocalypse Now’ properly for the first time. The real animal sacrifice at the end was disturbing.

06/08/20

Sketched out some new canvases including a narrow set for a triptych.

Object connected to the figure rather than the figure itself so may need to rethink the centre canvas.

…a few people have told me how “Enfield Study” disturbs them and makes them feel uncomfortable. So a job well done.

07/08/20

Lots of blocking in compositions today.

10/08/20

Greenberg vs Read (HANDBAGS!)

Some studio time today. Almost too warm.

12/08/20

Left up “Hotel ‘78” to the RUA today.

Sketchbook work.

14/08/20

Jenny Saville in the “A Brush With” podcast is great!

When asked what is art for, Saville replies:

“Art is for life. Art is for survival. You know it’s a shock of recognition that you feel a sense of belonging you recognise yourself in the world. I really believe it’s for survival. It’s intrinsic to being human. We either have to make marks or it’s like singing or making music. It’s fundamental to being a human being. I can’t imagine doing anything else. When I’m in the process of painting I feel very in touch with myself in a sense that nothing else I’ve ever done in my life does.”

Satellite paths

16/08/20

Nothing the past few days due to another trip to the hospital.

18/08/20

One year to go.

19/08/20

Finished “Exhibits A to C”. Good to get painting again after a little setback. Chuffed to be names Catalyst Art’s Member of the Month for August!

20/08/20

Some good studio time in today.

21/08/20

“A painting which is from a specific photograph - you have to go beyond the photograph so you have to make the paint do something and once it gets a nature of itself then it belongs to the world and it takes a long time to get be in that field.”

Jenny Saville (link for interview here)

23/08/20

“Avarice is the enemy of virtue.”

Leon Battista Alberti

Sketching and mostly failing.

25/08/20

Studio time but nothing too strenuous.

Great to have a virtual catch up with UoA folk!

29/08/20

Trauma is inarticulate.

Some good progress on “But I Don’t Get It”. Still flat in areas but it’s nearly there.

31/08/20

Finished “B.I.D.G.I.”

RDH: JUNE 2020

01/06/20

Clarify your eye.

Mixed what was left on the palette after 7 weeks of caking. It produced this gorgeous black / green hue perfect for the large canvas. Dad gave me a hand to clean it as I only have one at the minute.

02/06/20

In two minds but some good ground work. VAI café now with Alan Phelan and Ursula Burke.

UB: Being a witness to what has been happening.

UB: Bridging the gap between antiquity and the contemporary.

AP: John Joly Photography method

03/06/20

Hospital appointment: I can take the wrist support off!

Painting again. Very very rusty but such a nice feeling to be standing in the studio again.

Detail of fracture

…there are areas that work really well (the transparency of the plates in the skull). Painterly approach. Pretty much the rest is just clunky and stale.

04/06/20

The following quotes are from ‘Theories of Modern Art: A Source Book by Artists and Critics’ by Herschel B. Chipp:

“The source of all inspirations. Whether the artist works directly from nature from memory, or from fantasy, nature is always the source of his creative impulses.”

Hans Hofman - on the topic of nature.

“…a synthesis from the artist’s standpoint of matter, space and colour. Creation is not a reproduction of observed fact”

Hans Hofmann - on the topic of creation.

05/06/20

Mucked up.

06/06/20

Built up layers on two smaller pieces. They are at that stage when there is something missing - limbo.

‘Circular Lapse’ was in that place until the overlapping discs were added. Patience.

07/06/20

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”

Salvador Dali

Put the brakes on today.

08/06/20

Detail of ‘Jester’ drawing

New projector at long last. It doesn’t move an inch!

09/06/20

Got to using a brush at the end of a bamboo cane like Matisse used to.

“It was in me like the rhythm that carried me along. I had the surface in my head.”

Henri Matisse - on the use of bamboo tool

Visual and bodily. Some good progress today.

Detail of “Beatrice Study”

10/06/20

Troy Michie Talk Art was very good.

Detail of "Beatrice Study”

Finished “Beatrice Study” but paid the price; head is banging. Am I doing too much too soon?

11/06/20

Well today was a write off. Spent several hours at the Royal in Belfast looking for answers to the pounding head and the potential CSF leakages. Feels like recovery has taken a step back by a few weeks.

13/06/20

Trebuchet magazine has arrived and some updates to website.

15/06/20

Slept in.

Would love to visit the Christo and Jeanne-Claude covering of the Arc de Triomphe in October 2021.

Studio time feels a little panicked for some reason. Settle the head.

Now I.N.A.R.P. but I think there comes a level of pressure when you are personally and emotionally connected to a person to try and capture them as they once were. Settle the head and shake it off!

Well - you do get days of going backwards. Pre-mix before committing?

Cinematic tropes to frame personal trauma - à la Roxanna Halls.

16/06/20

Close up of “Back in my Day”

Really early start. Seems to have worked - finished “Back in my Day”. When in a certain frame of mind I seem to work quickly. Time is something I have in spades at the moment. Have probably over-painted areas (hands) but best leaving it as is and moving on.

17/06/20

Drawing and tonal work to “Race to the Bottom” - working title.

A homemade multi-brush handle.

18/06/20

…any shout of a practical day in the studio has disappeared. May be a blessing in disguise though as it’s probably best that I don’t spend every day standing in the garage through this recovery period.

20/06/20

…in terms of “RttB”, washes are or will probably key to keeping the action / immediacy of the figures alive.

Really pleased with how some of the facial work turned out today and I think the differing tones of navy/blue/grey will work.

22/06/20

2pm start - better than not starting at all I guess. After a few hours of frustration it was decided to just omit the second figure from the left. Eventually made more sense compositionally - balancing out the tumbling ensemble.

Removal of a figure

Need to be careful.

23/06/20

Different perspectives - slightly out of focus.

Am I too picky?

Sketchbook work

Over six hours of really solid drawing time today.

24/06/20

Two canvases primed. Focus vision and work on that one element. It isn’t a race.

25/06/20

Before I literally wipe the slate (palette) clean - could I use those silky black colours on the large canvas? Probably shouldn’t have got up at 5am. Eyes are rolling in head and its only 10:16am…

…waiting on a phone call. It was 47 minutes later than scheduled and on the phone call they decided to reschedule and to expect a phone call next week…

On third wind now but thought it best to call it a day before setting out the stall entirely.

‘A cup of clarity from the clarity flute.’

Eye detail - in progress

26/06/20

Unified the sky of the large canvas with a thick thick covering of velvety black paint. Pushing the oppressive sky downwards closing in on the running figures. Claustrophobic.

Now, learn from previous over meddling mistakes and move on!

Michael Armitage talk from Brooklyn Rail was fantastic! Got to ask a question too!

27/06/20

Studio Shot: 27/06/20

Really need to sort out a decent sleeping pattern.

28/06/20

Charcoal work today and not much else. Notes and revising for a presentation.

29/06/20

Very very close. Addition of the poppy. Centuries ago, the poppy was known as the witch’s flower. This is where the Irish for poppy comes from as ‘cailleach dhearg’ translates to ‘red hag’.

30/06/20

VAI Show and Tell: Northern Ireland addition. Delighted to have taken part.

RDH: MAY 2020

01/05/20

Finding a new normal.

02/05/20

…so not just images / maps / diagrams but also fears: nightmares.

• Where are you?

• What’s your date of birth?

• What’s today’s date?

• Do you know why you are here?

• Who is the Prime minister?

• Lift both arms

• Push against me.

• Follow my finger.

• Any dizziness? Nausea?

A face in the clouds.

…cover the eyes.

05/05/20

VAI’s café: So good to see what Cecilia Danell is up to in lockdown.

06/05/20

Tried drawing. Didn’t go well. It’s going to take longer than first thought to get back to creative work. Super frustrating.

11/05/20

Head is so sore today. Silver lining: Jerry Saltz’s “How to Be an Artist” arrived today.

12/05/20

• …avoid little voice neigh-saying in your head. All topics are valid.

• utilise R.D. more.

• …with found imagery, find and explore that connection to your own experiences.

• You never stop learning or looking for new ways to work.

• Sharpen observational skills. Draw from experience.

Over-analysing? Maybe.

BBC4 LIFE DRAWING LIVE

“A work of art cannot depend on explanation” - Jerry Saltz

14/05/20

Really enjoyed the webinar from VAI with CCA’s Catherine Hemelryk

INTEGRITY!

16/05/20

National Drawing Day. Really good to sit down and just draw today. Did a live-stream where I set up a still life and a few people drew along.

17/05/20

John Berger is always a good read.

18/05/20

Sketchbook work

19/05/20

VAI café

Orla Whelan: existential questions - preoccupation with death. Philosophical exploration.

Another little bit of late night sketching.

22/05/20

The virtual opening of the Catalyst Members Show.

More late night sketchbook work.

24/05/20

“An artists’ job is to reflect the time we live in.” - Nina Simone

26/05/20

“Using line to make visual texture” - Fiona Rae on Dürer

“Race to the Bottom” detail.

27/05/20

28/05/20

Started teaching my dad how to stretch canvas as I can’t at the moment.

Apparently I have the same birthday as Edward Hopper.

30/05/20

Canvas projecting.

31/05/20

Early morning reading.

“At root, truth to painting is truth to light.” - Juliam Barnes

RDH: JANUARY 2019

01/01/19

Mountain walk with Jan and Rogue.

“I think of drawing as a way of getting information and really learning to understand imagery.” - Cecily Brown

Anna Bjerger has a corner filled with ten years of old books / magazines. There’s usually nothing new but it’s about looking at imagery time and again to see if anything jumps out.

OLD IMAGERY RECEIVING NEW CONTEXT.

You need to have a genuine feeling for an image.

02/01/19

Two large canvases. Diptych idea?

03/01/19

05/01/19

Found in a car park.

Nothing done is also nothing ruined.

06/01/19

10/01/19

If it is to be it will come again.

London is happening in April. Can’t wait!

11/01/19

Idea for a painting: “The To and Fro of Indecision”.

Sketchbook work tonight. Looking at old paintings from second year in University.

12/01/19

Boiler suit

If you look a little longer you will see things that have always been there but not in the same context as before. I’ve started looking a little closer at drawings that have been transferred onto acetate and pairing them off with others that I normally wouldn’t have previously.

13/01/19

Christening + St Lurach’s ruins. This is the biggest canvas I’ve tackled in a long time.

“Organised Forgetting”

Paint went well today - generally just blocking so it’s not too tasking. Colours - light v dark. Which elements of the image come to the fore and what fights to be heard.

15/01/19

Meaningless vote.

Chris Ofili’s “No Woman No Cry” - canvas rested on 2 heaps of elephant dung covered in a transparent resin.

Sculpture ideas - photos stacked like a house of cards. On panels?

Pyramid.

17/01/19

Trip to Newtownards and Belfast today.

The Ards Art Centre

The Ards Art Centre’s Georgian gallery space is stunning! So much light! Really interesting work by Katrina Cobain on show.

Stunning work by Alana Barton in the Black Box.

Great opening of Vault show in the Golden Thread Gallery’s project space.

Pauline Rowan’s photography was the stand out work for me in the latest instalment of Golden Thread’s “Dissolving Histories” series.

19/01/19

20/01/19

Really struggling to get motivated.

The act of drawing has stagnated. If you cut off the source how do you expect the river to flow?

Even working on other imagery (drawings) when painting something else is bound to have positive repercussions?

27/01/19

Took a while to get going. Not really focusing on one task but I think that’s good sometimes.

A little experiment

28/01/19

Been thinking a lot about potential sculptural ideas recently. Give it a whirl?

29/01/19

Sketchbook work

30/01/19

“Shooting the Darkness” documentary on RTÉ was fascinating insight from photojournalists who were front line witnesses to some of the most horrific atrocities during the Troubles.

RDH: 01/10/18 - 31/10/18

01/10/18

… of interest. Attainable small steps to reach big goals.

02/10/18

Delivery mix up.

05/10/18

Booked VAI speed curating slots for November.

…LA… fingers crossed!

06/10/18

initials in ogham

Experiment in the studio with a degree of success. When a fine layer of fixative is lit on the paintings surface, areas of the canvas that are predominantly charcoal or thin layers of colour are singed and blister - creating an interesting effect. Safety first though.

Jan is right —> the lighter background to “Pioneer” was more unsettling. Rectify.

07/10/18

Staring at “Pioneer”. I think I’m hesitant because its… I don’t know. I think the colours are too similar between light and shade. By the same token - you don’t want it to become too contrasting and cartoonish. A foreign colour introduced into the third panel may point a direction.

Flying by the seat of pants but you can’t control the spontaneous. Some detailed work today. It is getting there. Attention directed towards other matters.

… paintings and clusters of drawings - like a shotgun spread of memories. Jumbled - linked yet conflicting. Fighting for dominance.

\\\THE TRAUMA PARADOX\\\

08/10/18

Just realised a connection between “AMATGS” and the ivy crown. Oedipus plays would have been played during the festival of Dionysus - who is associated with a crown of ivy.

09/10/18

“ I gave myself permission to follow my voice and that’s what my whole career has been. I still give myself permission and no compromise. I compromised before but not when I became an artist.” Mark Bradford

10/10/18

World Mental Health Day.

11/10/18

13/10/18

“Into The Void Magazine” submission successful!

Sketchbook work and now watching the original ‘Suspiria’ for the first time.

14/10/18

Notes finished for presentation. Pleased with burning effect on triptych.

… was suggested something on Friday. Well it was more of a dialogue regarding “Pioneer”; the first and last sections work. They’re strong but the one that should be the strongest and the anchor, the middle piece is way behind. Changing from a triptych to a diptych? Leave it for a while - continue working on all three before abandoning the middle piece.

Using ash as a painting/drawing medium. Religious links? Why do ideas come in the final minutes of the day? Processing process.

18/10/18

On way to Dublin. Looking forward to talking about work in DLR Lexicon. Not nervous. Yet.

Just saw the most beautiful fox casually strolling across a field outside Armagh.

I’ve been skirting around issues. The ‘recall’ notion might be worth exploring again. Drawing. Painting. Video. Audio.

The DLR Lexicon is stunning. Really enjoyed the other talks - especially work of Cecilia Bullo.

19/10/18

Yesterday’s trip and talks were great. Just wish I had more time to go around some of Dublin’s galleries when I was down. Decided it was best to drop the middle canvas in “Pioneer Studies”. Finished the other two pieces and happy with the results.

20/10/18

A little tweaking to “Afore the Stoop”.
Dad suffered a bleeding eye following his operation.

22/10/18

Have been neglecting practice and methods during the week. Ards - it seems a long way off but it will fly in.

Keeping your finger on the pulse is no bad thing.

24/10/18

Personal history is a source - not the explanation. ‘imagine…’ with Tracey Emin on iPlayer was insightful. Have a new found respect for Emin’s practice and quite like a few of some of her new paintings.

27/10/18

No paints were used today but three canvases were started. The smallest piece - I don’t think will have legs. As a drawing it is strong but I feel it won’t work on canvas. I’ve drawn up “Bereft Clown” again - a different size to the previous square stretcher. Will see how it goes. The third canvas is the one I’m most excited about. It’s a merging of two images but in a slightly different way. First is an image of a German officer stationed in a concentration camp. The other is a negative of a confession screen. The idea is to project light through the lattice onto the portrait. Fright Night in the jungle was great fun!

28/10/18

Slept so much. Slow progress but progress nonetheless.

31/10/18

Spacing error.

“I’m really interested in creating moments of ‘push and pull’ in paintings and having different registers of imagery with different surface qualities - so one thing might be compositionally in the foreground but materially might be being subsumed by whats behind it.” Helen Johnson

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.