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2023 in Pictures

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JANUARY

FEBRUARY

MARCH

APRIL

MAY

JUNE

JULY

AUGUST

SEPTEMBER

OCTOBER

NOVEMBER

DECEMBER

RDH: OCTOBER 2023

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01/10/23

Three white rabbits.

Studio: ‘Passive Study’ going well - bouncing between the brush and the drawing mark. It’s always interesting to see which of the two (if any at all) comes to the fore.

“A Brush With… Sarah Lucas”

‘A Séance in London’ - slowly building layers but, more importantly, working through structure and composition. Very early days.

03/10/23

Anxiety overload!

05/10/23

WOW! Can’t remember a late night art quite like this one in a very long time. Belfast was buzzing!

09/10/23

Put the bloody phone DOWN!

11/10/23

Quick sketch of artist Amy Higgins. Ideas brewing.


12/10/23

Easy to say, but difficult to implement.

In transit

15/10/23

Studio - A.H. portrait study: A good start. There was one point where the charcoal became a little too much but thankfully it wasn’t difficult to rectify. Just before adding the last layer of charcoal, all the previous drawing marks were pushed back with just the paint taking the stage. Some nice areas of tonal quality but overall the image was flat. You would think that adding a charcoal line would make it even more flat in appearance but the opposite is the case! The crux of it - that interplay between the drawing line and the painting mark.

17/10/23

Second straight day of jury service but on the flip side, a good chance to see Kwok Tsui’s new exhibition in the CCA.

18/10/23

QSS - ‘Messy Business’. Great group painting show.

21/10/23

…worth sticking foot in the door.

22/10/23

Studio time. A long session but very little to show for it. Slow progress on all fronts. Perhaps working on multiple pieces (four canvases) is biting a little more off than I can chew?

Setting a couple of pieces off to the side for a while should make it more manageable. It probably hasn’t helped that the palette is in a poor state and needs cleaned badly. Not a complete loss of a day but it could’ve been a lot more fruitful. Several factors at play but, lesson learned.

Palette given a good scrub before finishing up.

25/10/23

Dublin - too dark to write on the bus down - too dark to write on the bus home. The Autumn evenings are here.

Atoosa Pour Hosseini’s ‘The Magic Circle’ in Temple Bar Gallery + Studios is excellent. Remnants of vintage horror films in the video piece.

RDH: AUGUST 2023

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02/08/23

Securing loose ends this week. Collecting and dropping off work.

Still from “THE NEW DAWN FADES” by Clare Langan at the Golden Thread Gallery.

09/08/23

Fell through. In any case it was still an honour to have been asked alongside the other artists!

11/08/23

14/08/23

Wonderful time over in London. Tried to paint today. Stared at the work for ages but nothing leaped out. Sometimes just looking can be productive. Time to re-energise and heal.

15/08/23

Now may be a suitable time to take own advice and reach out…. can’t just fire a blanket. Have enough work.

17/08/23

Reset desperately needed. Very distracted creatively at the minute. Whatever time can be set aside MUST be used for artistic purposes. Hopefully will get on the right track. Am I too harsh on myself?

Pleased to be a part of Catalyst Arts Member’s Show.

20/08/23

Some progress but not much. Don’t want to dwell on this too much but, as an honest self-assessment in a diary context, WTF. The will to paint is there at times, at others it’s the furthest thing from mind. Perhaps if there were one or two short - medium term targets. Something to aim for may light the fire again.

21/08/23

23/08/23

Yesterday… will remain nameless but they reminded me of the passion and push to create. Jan had noticed when I haven’t made work in a while my mood goes down, procrastination increases and there’s a that wee spiral downwards.

  1. Accepting you’re in a rut.

  2. Take a Break - self care.

  3. Collaborate with others.

  4. Change it Up.

  5. Search for Inspiration

  6. Keep Going

Morning pages - keep moving the pen. Don’t stop writing.

Pages 1 -3: Uncontrolled free writing

Page 4: Reflection on the day.

Advice from subconscious. Not showing my best self. Live by example. To be able to hold your head high. Shake it off and move on.

  • Clean, workable space

  • Back to the drawing board (there is a reason this is a saying)

  • 30 minutes of drawing / research is better than 30 minutes of trash TV. Use time wisely!

24/08/23

I wonder if the morning papers would work for sketchbook work. Probably not unlike what Maggie Hambling does as part of her morning routine.

It’s a beautiful morning. The sun is blinding in the brilliant flashes as the bus winds and turns heading across the river Bann. Wall to wall blue. …solo heart to heart, I did my best to be less distracted last night. It’s about being conscious about the negative habits and aiming to nip them in the bud as quick as possible that should really make pay dividends.

Sore neck = Poor Posture.

…give myself permission…

You’d think that well over a decade I should know the answer.

IDEAS / DRAWING / REFLECTIONS / LISTS

Anything goes. The only rule is to put pen to paper every day as much as possible.

Life has a way of happening around you so if shit happens and venting is needed. That’s OK. A.i.L. - L.i.A.

Observing more can only be a good thing - possible leads into other areas of practice. Maybe best to not get too carried away.

Called into Anne Butler’s show “Objects in Time” at the GT on lunch. Such beautiful detail and intricacy in something so delicate and heavy. Love it when materials aim to confuse - mimic characteristics of another.

27/08/23

“Ready to Go” - does it need scaled up? Looking at the “Rooftop / Marina” piece, there are elements in the city scape that are working. Nice, loose and gestural marks but it still needs a lot of work. For the roof in the foreground, less charcoal marks perhaps? Just get something down.

“RtG” charcoaled up, witg the figure more prominent, its already looks like a far more intertersting composition. Solid progres on “Marina” today, especially the cityscape. SSS' aren’t to be taken lightly.

NB: SSS stands for Short Sunday Sessions.

28/08/23

APPLY

30/08/23

Dublin - Curved street is great!

31/08/23

Looking forward to ARRAY event tonight.

Fifteen years. Fifteen years since my outlook was altered forever. Still raw, even after all this time. Anniversaries reel back the pain like a fishing line. You cast it off eventually, but it will always come back. Wrote that like Senior.

“The Night Draws Near” by Array at the Ulster Museum. Wonderful experience.

BE PRESENT!

I will remember the chorus; singing as we were led up to the Síbín for a long time.

RDH: NOVEMBER 2021

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03/11/21

Some good sketchbook work today.

04/11/21

National Common Sense Day. “Portrait of NI: Neither an elegy nor a manifesto” in the Golden Thread Gallery. Interesting layout, gathering work of a similar ilk throughout the decades together.

Anne Tallentire’s “But this material…” in the MAC; great use of spatial interaction with the work and the gallery space. Some really strong work in “The presence of Absence” exhibition from the MFA 2019 cohort group show in QSS.

Really enjoyed the opening of the “Salonathon Show 2021” in Platform - seeing my work alongside some great artists and meeting up with familiar faces!

05/11/21

Wincing the odd time.

06/11/21

“Portraiture exposes the gap between the interior and exterior selves.”

-unknown-

Priming is all today amounted to.

08/11/21

Didn’t realise the gravity…

11/11/21

What was thought to be a dud - must have turned out alright!

12/11/21

Several pieces sketched up today.

13/11/21

Detail of “The Doctor will See you Now”

Really good day in the studio. “The Doctor will see you Now” finished! This new philosophy of keeping it loose, not striving for a realistic perfection, which is ultimately unattainable anyway, seems to be working.

I have a tendency of focussing on niggles to the point when the paintings get tight and the imagery too self aware. Learning to let go and step back a stage or two sooner seems to work for me.

“The Doctor will See you Now” Oil and Charcoal on Canvas 150cm x 100cm

16/11/21

Didn’t get accepted but that’s OK. Sketchbook work tonight to get brain working.

17/11/21

Very quick trip up to Derry to see “Tilt [At Windmills]” with work by Jarkko Räsänen, Fionnuala Doran, Paul Moore and Robin Price in CCA and “The Shrinking Universe” by Eva Rothschild in VOID.

20/11/21

Blocking in and working out logistics on three pieces today.

29/11/21

Nervous but that’s pretty much down to the unknown factor.

RDH: JUNE 2021

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03/06/21

Canvas stripping, stretching and some sewing experimentation.

04/06/21

Priming canvas is such a messy business!

05/06/21

Once the work is made, build bridges to your audience.

Artists need to band together!

Anne Imhof - finding refuge in the blur.

Sketched up new canvases.

Sketched up new canvases.

06/06/21

Easily worked up - relax.

09/06/21

Finally getting round to cleaning garage and setting paint out. Asked if I’d like to be featured in a takeover. Chuffed!

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Bit of a mixed bag in studio today. On wooden piece, that image just sucks you in and spits you out! With the large canvas started (‘Man Digging’ - working title) it’s quite a forgiving composition and palette working well so far.

10/06/21

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“An archive of emotions”

Dr. Kate McLean

Didn’t get shortlisted.

11/06/21

12/06/21

Reading group outside this morning.

13/06/21

Some good, solid progress today.

16/06/21

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So grateful to be included in Paint-Tube Dublin by Louise Wallace.

Sketchbook Studies

Sketchbook Studies

18/06/21

First vaccine received today!

19/06/21

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Work on small portrait today - title undecided as yet.

‘The Eternal Bride’ myth.

22/06/21

Memory is forgetting.

A little mid-week push.

23/06/21

“A Brush with … Julian Opie”

So so close to finishing “Moon Boy”.

24/06/21

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Some good sketchbook work this afternoon. Looking forward to getting to Belfast tomorrow.

25/06/21

Great to get into the MAC shows today, sadly didn’t have time to get round anywhere else.

Will have to wait another little while for rings.

26/06/21

Studio time!

“Moon Boy” finished!

30/06/21

Ballyliffen

Ballyliffen

RDH: MAY 2021

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01/05/21

NB: Take a little more time…

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"History Repeating”: Good Start!

02/05/21

Admin all day long!

03/05/21

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Sketchbook work with snooker on in the background. Not a bad combination

04/05/21

passing-time.org : great concept for a website showcasing work.

05/05/21

Submission unsuccessful.

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Studio time eventually… come the weekend I will probably try and figure out a way to block out the planes so that I can paint the red container background in one motion. Right now its all a little scrappy and stop/start.

07/05/21

Belfast bound. When walking around the town I hear ARRAY have been nominated for the Turner Prize! Amazing news and thoroughly well deserved! This feels like it could be a huge boost to Belfast / NI art community going forward.

08/05/21

Rodin’s “Gates of Hell”

…has to reflect your own practice. We all think and experience the world differently.

Weekend screening of ‘Painting After Postmodernism with Barbara Rose’ courtesy of The Brooklyn Rail.

… permit the accident and then aim to control it afterwards.

Concept of space - innovation of contemporary painting regardless of abstract or figurative work.

09/05/21

Initially didn’t feel in form for studio today but it really does pay off to just do it and go in regardless.

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Masked planes and now I’m fairly content with the more solid / rusted container in the background.

10/05/21

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Sketchbook work.

12/05/21

The over-thinking / perfectionist side is in overdrive.

Perhaps it’s the large scale that is showing up it’s flaws. Embrace the flaws? Easier said than done - however I do seem to appreciate other artist’s little oddities in their work that could be seen as inaccurate. One person’s poor areas are another person’s highlights I guess.

There’s a lot to be said for confidence in the work and/or the process. Here’s to letting go.

13/05/21

Finally bit the bullet in some respects. “T.H.T.H” sold!

14/05/21

Memory is so imperfect.

15/05/21

A lot of doodles and not much substance.

Joan of Arc will be the elephant in the room today.

Figurative -> Genre

Abstract -> Colour / Editing

Perfectionism is stifling “History Repeating” It’s getting there but extremely slow and frustrating. Straddling between realistic and looser motifs. In two minds when in the thick of it all.

Listening to ‘Jo’s Art History Podcast’ in the studio.

Listening to ‘Jo’s Art History Podcast’ in the studio.

16/05/21

Rearranging storage space.

Rearranging storage space.

17/05/21

OFFSITE from Catalyst Arts. Peer Support / crit group was excellent and definitely well worth expanding on.

Patterns of People.

The act of Keening / Post-memory.

18/05/21

Paint the fence.

19/05/21

That ‘I want to be on my own’ kind of feeling.

“H.R.” - truly, these planes are the bane of my life at the minute. Whatever the case, regardless of how they are (in my eyes) I’ll want to push on and be done with this canvas by the weekend….

…are they finished? Dare to hope.

IMMA talk with Chantal Joffe and Katy Hessel - ‘The Artist’s Mother’.

‘Attempting the impossible’ - the best definition of portraiture and painting.

Just submitted “Shock” and “Gathering Thoughts”.

20/05/21

sketchbook-20-05-21

21/05/21

‘The Training of Memory in Art and the education of the Artist’ by Horace Lecoq de Boisbaudran.

Cart and standing figures worked on today. Trying to strike a balance between the light tones of the ground, the bodies and the cart.

22/05/21

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25/05/21

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Work and yard work.

26/05/21

history-repeating

“History Repeating” finished!

28/05/21

Saltz v Scully.

Started putting paint down on one of the smaller pieces and just decided to call it. Whether the smaller works are tripping me up on where to go next or they’re just not exciting me enough to push on. I’m not sure.

30/05/21

When asked if I would be willing to help Ciara McMullan, an architecture student with a project, I was happy to fill out a questionnaire and make some small works on canvas and glass to include in a study model of a studio / exhibition space. I was blown away to see the final results of the project. Some fantastic ideas.

Internal shot of Ciara McMullan’s art studio / exhibition space project.

Internal shot of Ciara McMullan’s art studio / exhibition space project.

31/05/21

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Late night sketching to finish off the month. The past few weeks has seen an unusually singular focus / pandering to one specific canvas. Typically I jump from one work to another with usually three on the go at once. I always thought this helped keep the head and the eyes fresh. I wonder if this may explain May.

Slight sense of fatigue creeping in. At least there are avenues to explore in terms of going about fixing it.

RDH: MARCH 2020

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01/03/20

Focus turns to show opening.

03/03/20

Spend a little time looking and you might find a way in. Now at that limbo stage with “No Remorse”. Compositionally solid but colours and painterly gestures are off.

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Surprising bound forward on “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Face is mask-like (maybe a good thing?)

05/03/20

Nervous as hell. First stop - Ursula Burke in the Ulster Museum. Wonderful scope and the wall mural is stunning. A quick jaunt into town - in GT’s “Dissolving Histories” I especially liked Stuart Calvin’s work. Great to see Dougal McKenzie’s project space show “More Bad News”. Beautiful little touches.

Next onto the MAC for Mark Garry’s “Songs and the Soil”. Placed over the three galleries, the work is immersive and stunning.

Helped with the last little touches to the show prep. Great turnout for Late Night Art and the feedback has knocked me back - in the best possible way. Really not good at taking compliments. Marcus Keeley came by for a chat in the store room for his “Instant Feedback” podcast.

06/03/20

Wee stay with Jane. A beautiful house and a beautiful soul. Finally got to visit QSS for “Four Female Painters” exhibition. Amazing space and great work. Alana Barton’s piece “Blossom” made me cry and not even ashamed to say it. It struck a nerve. The delicacy of the child’s little fingers touching the adult’s hair. Beautifully painted.

Took myself back to re-watch Mark Garry’s videos in the MAC. The close up recordings of the horses is haunting and strangely intimate.

08/03/20

Few days off but little updates online here and there.

11/03/20

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Sketchbook work

14/03/20

Scary times. Back to the looking phase. It seems to help.

Les Yeux sans visage

Self Portrait: face is still very mask-like. Reminds me of a still from “Les yeux sans visage”.

…knowing when to quit for the day is important.

15/03/20

Slow burning day but when I eventually got to studio and began making real progress, the power goes off!

Serves me right for getting ahead of myself.

“No Remorse” in progress

“No Remorse” in progress

16/03/20

The “In Conversation” that was to take place with the show in Atypical has rightly been postponed due to ongoing circumstances.

18/03/20

Have to self-isolate for 14 days. The worries mount.

22/03/20

Sketchbook work for the first time in 11 days. Feels like a lifetime.

Is there a better, more cohesive way to go about the drawing side of practice?

I think immediacy, or the notion of immediacy, is still important.

24/03/20

Transferred some recent drawings to acetate.

STEP UP!

25/03/20

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Studio time with Radiohead.

26/03/20

A bit of sketching but mainly organising imagery.

“There’s no point in worryin’ what ye can’t control.”

BAK

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“No Remorse” is finished. There are parts that still annoy but all in all pleased to it’s best to leave it and move on.

28/03/20

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Pushing and pulling with “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Frustrating but really fun at the same time!

29/03/20

Cleaning palette and studio up. Also stripped the background of “SPwS”. Too similar to the skin tones and made the canvas seem quite flat.

30/03/20

So bloody close!

31/03/20

Last day of quarantine.

Great to take part in the VAI online café and to get an insight into Tinka Bechert’s wonderful work.

“SPwS” finished. It is very wonky as it’s taken from a very wonky sketch from a few years ago but there’s something about the sketch that made me want to try and develop it into a painting for quite some time.

RDH: JUNE 2019

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01/06/19

Almost a disaster. Too hung up on certain elements and it is holding the piece back. So the notion of blurring the background and having the foreground sharply in focus works. Execution at the moment is lacking sadly. Need to figure out how to fix the mesh fence but will need to redo all the good work from today. Lesson Learnt.

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02/06/19

Essentially yesterday was a pure slug fest in the studio.

Action is better than inaction. Working out grid for fence work.

Action is better than inaction. Working out grid for fence work.

07/06/19

Great to meet up with folks today.

GOLDEN THREAD GALLERY VISIT:

THE MAC VISIT:

Solo show by John McMacken

Solo show by John McMacken

Belfast School of Art Degree Shows were great. Some outstanding work. Nina Johnston’s tree installation on level 6 is amazing. Regardless of levels/grades that many of the graduates are embarking on that’s the really exciting part.

Looking back, I adored my time in university but detested my degree show. All but one piece has been destroyed and it was the start of a huge, and still ongoing learning curve that’s led my practice to where it is.

Meeting in the evening went really well. Some good feedback and ideas for an upcoming project.

08/06/19

Little break from the studio today to recharge from the overload of art from yesterday.

11/06/19

“Frank Bowling - What do Artists Do All Day?”

12/06/19

The beginnings of planning an exhibition layout.

The beginnings of planning an exhibition layout.

“Allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a strength”

Katy Grannan

“Dana Shutz: How Do You Depict A Feeling?”

15/06/19

Detail of the removal process.

Detail of the removal process.

Bit of start and stop in the studio but fixative giveth and fixative taketh away!

Just spied Grace McMurray’s piece in the Royal Academy documentary.

16/06/19

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“Paula Rego: Secrets and Stories” - Great way to start the day!

“Depression is like a crown of thorns”

Paula Rego

Dander down to the river with the dogs.

More pushing back on “Sack Race” although I could have easily got sucked into working on tiny details and not looked at the whole picture.

sackrace-progress-detail

Treat every painting as a study.

17/06/19

Glazing, Hatching, Cross Hatching, Direct, Sfumato, Painterly, Impasto, Staining, Dripping, Gestural, Broken Strokes, Dotting, A La Prima, Patches, Feathers, Scumbling, Washes, Bravara, Directional.

Sketchbook work.

Sketchbook work.

19/06/19

Knowledge / Creativity / Inspiration

Beginnings / Liberation

21/06/19

the-bogland-sackrace-work-in-progress

Summer Solstice. Pleased with how mesh fence is coming.

22/06/19

Need to let go of aiming to get the little things perfect in the work. Ultimately its holding up the process. Obviously not saying to go full ‘Sloppy Joe’ on it but recognising when things get knit picky - take a step back and reassess time spent on something inconsequential.

fence-work

Perfection is an illusion.

23/06/19

Little break day. Sophia Campbell on “Sky’s PAOTY 2019”.

24/06/19

There’s no sugar coating it. Intrusive thoughts bombarding for practically 8 straight hours.

Embarrassing, frustrating but mainly just terrifying. I don’t want them anymore.

25/06/19

It will take time to get to grips with what is going on.

27/06/19

Currently going through potential imagery. I think its good to scan through images from time to time to build up ideas.

30/06/19

Getting to grips with terms and conditions and sorting out a plan of action together.

RDH: MAY 2019

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03/05/19

Painting Peer Critique hosted in CCA Derry.

Artist John Robinson with his work on the temporary stage at CCA Derry.

Artist John Robinson with his work on the temporary stage at CCA Derry.

04/05/19

Close up of “The Lost Woods Study”

Close up of “The Lost Woods Study”

Been a while since using leaves to print on. Needs more layers but for now it solves the issue of the line… breaks the eye.

So after four months and four days I’ve finally finished a painting and broke my 2019 drought.

Detail of “Rose” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

Detail of “Rose” - oil and charcoal on canvas.

05/05/19

First time visiting and it was like opening an old wound.

11/05/19

One very creepy window display.

One very creepy window display.

12/05/19

Great Art show: “Goya: Flesh and Blood”

Started “Sack Race” (working title) and stupidly didn’t check material inventory before starting.

17/05/19

Sketching tonight. Past self was clever enough to leave certain works aside for potential events.

Study of an Uncle.

Study of an Uncle.

18/05/19

Really happy with how the studio went today.

19/05/19

Completed “The Lost Woods Study”.

Completed “The Lost Woods Study”.

20/05/19

Not to rely on gimmick. It has been an invaluable tool - one that I will continue to utilise - but only when the work demands it. If it is forced (like “Woman With the Dogs” and, more recently, “Ruins”) the work stagnates and imagery drowns in an unnecessarily complicated mess.

21/05/19

Should take own advice from time to time about differing paint properties.

In “Sack Race” - the looser the playing field the better. Almost tempted not to touch it at all.

A sort of closure. A temporary full stop.

22/05/19

Ran out of time. Need to keep RD by side.

23/05/19

Ring-gate.

25/05/19

“I know more. The lack of whats in the current work informs the next.” - Eva Rothschild.

More layers to “The Ferryman”. Because the face of the ferryman is so small it would be easy to fall into the familiar trap of aiming to capture all the detail and likeness of the source image. Focusing instead on light and tone - maybe even a hint of a blur? Like the figure is in the middle of turning to look at the viewer.

Surprise / Confrontation / Acknowledgement

Back and forth with “Sack Race”. Happy with certain elements, like the sky but have consequently fogged up other sections in the process. Eager to not fall into the familiar trap of muddiness and over-painting.

More progress to the sky in “Sack Race”.

More progress to the sky in “Sack Race”.

27/25/19

29/05/19

Late night sketchbook work.

Late night sketchbook work.

"Procession Study"

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The image from Procession study takes inspiration from a still of the 1964 film “The Masque of the Red Death” which is based on a short story by Edgar Allen Poe of the same name. The film is dated and garish but does have some interesting visuals.

Still from “The Masque of the Red Death” 1964 film.

Still from “The Masque of the Red Death” 1964 film.

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I first explored this image in 2017. In my sketchbook (above) I pared the image down to the three component parts; land, sky and figures and ignored nearly all detail. It was then projected up onto a large canvas. Below is the reveal of the figures once the background was applied.

Sadly the painting didn’t go any further and I set the image aside until recently. I decided to do the opposite of last year’s attempt and work on a small study with the figures facing the other way. The sky soon became convoluted so it was then pulled back to neutral tones.

“Procession Study”Oil and Charcoal on Canvas©2018

“Procession Study”

Oil and Charcoal on Canvas

©2018

RDH: 01/07/18 - 31/07/18

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01/07/18

Crunching numbers.

02/07/18

... feels unfinished ... sections fall apart ... a denying of illusionism ...

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in progress.

03/07/18

TRAUMA PARADOX - CONCEPT

04/07/18

Shocked. Head spirals backwards.  Sketchbook work today.

05/07/18

'Bardo' - (tibetan) a state between life and death

...instead of saying "What's wrong with you?" it should be "What happened to you?"

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

relaxing with visual artists news sheet from VAI

1:  Emotional brain basically becomes a 'survival brain' and can hijack the conscious brain.

2:  Alarm system in brain becomes distorted and a person may become hyper vigilant.

3:  Ability to appraise the present and to learn from experience (an imbalance and a resistance to heal).

Developmental trauma takes time to heal and there are no quick fixes.

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH!!!!

07/07/18

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

Lifting works from the Townhouse Gallery in Belfast.

rough sketch for an installation idea

rough sketch for an installation idea

08/07/18

A research day.

A research day.

09/07/18

Studio wall

Studio wall

Refined some charcoal marks on the large landscape today.

10/07/18

"Traumatic Memory"

trauma - from the greek meaning 'to wound' or 'to pierce'.

11/07/18

NOTES from Psychology texts:

"...the story of trauma is one of enlightenment and forgetfulness.Knowledge gained and lost over and over. A history categorised by criticism and denial."

A tragic paradox of trauma is that one of it's primary casualties is that of truth itself.

Trauma is considered as - "an event outside the range of usual experience." (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -III - R - 1980)

Trauma shatters the assumptive world - invincibility has gone and the world is seen as darker, chaotic, evil and dangerous.

12/07/18

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Sketchbook work today.  Little steps are better than no steps at all.

13/07/18

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Canvas nearly ready to go in the studio

Stretched a few canvases today.

14/07/18

detail of landscape in progress

detail of landscape in progress

Colours laid out and tightened back of landscape canvas.

15/07/18

;

16/07/18

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

"The Mountain of the Heights" in the garden.

Finished "The Mountain of the Heights" today.  Could have done more but I'm learning to let go before work is destroyed.

17/07/18

"Second hand images can create first hand emotion" - Marlene Dumas

18/07/18

A delivery of paints came today

A delivery of paints came today

19/07/18

"Lost Illusions" by Balzac

20/07/18

A pretty good start to my week off; I have been offered a solo show!

21/07/18

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

Justine McDonnell's "A Composition of She" in the Golden Thread Gallery, Belfast

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

First night out in Belfast in ages and we are evacuated from Laverys due to a 'fire'.

22/07/18

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

Stunning paintings by Elizabeth Magill at the Ulster Museum, Belfast

23/07/18

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

An idea for using flattened paint boxes.

Too many ideas floating around.

NB:  To loosen up before working from chosen imagery, I want to try and do some work from life beforehand.  Can't do any harm.

A five minute self portrait study

A five minute self portrait study

24/07/18

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

"The Landis Museum" exhibition at the CCA, Derry

A trip to Derry for meetings and gallery visits.

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

Detail of one of Colin Davidson's remarkable paintings in "Silent Testimony" at the Nerve Visual Gallery, Derry

I first saw Colin Davidson's 'Silent Testimony' three years ago in the Ulster Museum. Today it was in the Nerve Visual Gallery in Derry.  Still so powerful.  The 'us and them' mentality is nonexistent and removing divisive language and politics reveals the human suffering on all sides.  It is so important.  So glad to have seen it again.

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Beginnings of a small canvas experiment

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Merging two old drawing works onto a new canvas.

Have multiple little eggs going on at the moment.

Imagine... Rose Wylie on BBC iPlayer

...where presence is evident...

"I think you're a lot happier if you don't mind a bit of imperfection." - Rose Wyllie

25/07/18

The two sons of Oedipus, Polynices and Eteocles translates to "Manifold Strife" and "Truly Glorious" respectively.  Might just be the title of a new painting that's been started.

Good news: I have two works pre-selected for the Royal Ulster Academy 2018.  Fingers crossed!

26/07/18

"What's for you won't go past you."

Progress on a small painting study

Progress on a small painting study

TAL R on Louisiana Channel

"It's strange, but you can't make a painting without content. Content is not like solving a problem in school or university. Content much more means that you've built up enough reason to do it. And content is also shitty because if you begin to identify too much with the content then you can't move. There are too many people shouting out in the chorus. Content starts you up and you leave it behind. It doesn't mean that you remove yourself from the content but it's too cumbersome to carry along. So when I'm working, it's not mechanical at all but it's cool headed because I'm not questioning the content. I've left it behind. It's interesting to say that content is crap, but you can't live without it." - TAL R

27/07/18

Four works in progress in the studio

Four works in progress in the studio

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

"A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" - painting in progress

Really pleased with how "A Manifold and Truly Glorious Strife" is shaping up.

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"You have to create something that lives in a kind of mystery." - TAL R

28/07/18

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Worked on "Rehearsal Study" today.  Played with skin tone and facial features using an air compressor to manipulate the paint. A slightly less controlled appearance.

31/07/18

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So pleased to have been able to attend the iDA reception event at the Atypical Gallery in Belfast.  This website is only possible through the iDA grant from atypical and the Arts Council fo Northern Ireland so I'm extremely grateful for their continued support and guidance.  Congratulations to all the award recipients this year!

Whoever heard of a Black Artist?" on BBC iPlayer.