reflective diary post
RDH: APRIL 2021
01/04/21
“A Brush With… Ali Banisadr” - audio-visual synesthesia.
02/04/21
Palette is cleaned and managed to get some good work on “On Gilded Steps”.
03/04/21
Added some gold aerosol for the edges of the steps. So close to finishing it up. Very frustrating as last week one of the figures that was working the best is now the last piece of the puzzle yet to fit.
05/04/21
“On Gilded Steps” finished!
09/04/21
…apparently it was coming but it was a jolt and now a growing sense of uncertainty.
10/04/21
“Seven Types of Ambiguity” by William Empson.
Ambiguity has to be purposeful, holding multiple elements in suspension - that’s when the ambiguity works and has a function.
11/04/21
Such a leap from what was happening last year.
12/04/21
Catch up on webinars. Is ‘brand’ a dirty word?
13/04/21
Episode 27 of “Jo’s Art History Podcast” is live! Always strange to listen to yourself back but I really did enjoy the chat with Jo.
“Gathering Thoughts” gathering momentum.
16/04/21
Quick run to Belfast to lift “Hotel ‘78” from the RUA.
17/04/21
Studio work: less will be more with “G.T.”. Progress made but very slowly. I could have ploughed on this evening but I thought it was best to quit for the day while I was ahead.
19/04/21
“Leonardo" on Prime. Fast and loose with facts but still fun to watch.
22/04/21
Yesterday saw a long overdue clear-out of the office and the start of a fresh lick of paint.
25/04/21
I think I’ve taken “Gathering Thoughts” as far as I can go.
27/04/21
A solemn anniversary.
28/04/21
Submissions made. Fingers crossed. Primed large canvas today which took several coats. Barrow + woman with dogs / butcher?
Starting to get excited by a piece that hasn’t even been started yet.
29/04/21
Decided against ‘woman with dogs’ and ‘butcher’ imagery and opted instead for early biplanes of the RAF. This way I can instead swap scale instead of orientation and hopefully not overcrowd the composition. The red container behind the medics should be kept and then adding the planes using tonal differences / slightly different register. There and not there. Pillers - might be best to paint them out. There will probably be remnants of them as layers are added.
30/04/21
A broken up sort of day.
RDH: MARCH 2021
04/03/21
It’s been a full on week - trying to ease myself in slowly and find my footing again and knowing my limits.
Evenings = questions
05/03/21
UPDATES
06/03/21
Handwriting is a microcosm of the personality.
A good start to “The Infamy of Crete”. Muddy palette so far but for now it’s working.
11/03/21
SorT? tech-check. Target -> 1488 (done).
Bullet points for a smooth six minutes.
Could easily fall into the trap of not doing anything this weekend but I know how it would make me feel if nothing was to happen. Try your best - productive variables.
12/03/21
Good God this text is heavy!
Taking time in the studio. The little pieces of canvas / glass that I’ve been asked to put something on for a student’s project was actually a really good loosening / warming up exercise. I have plenty of little strands laying around and could put paint down / play / experiment / make mistakes for twenty minutes before moving onto wall works. Not a bad idea.
Gold Leaf for step edges possibly?
13/03/21
Some really solid background work to “On Gilded Steps” - a lot of blending work. The scratching around the figures - lets try and keep some of that!
15/03/21
Scanning.
16/03/21
Having to go up above to finish online work just sucks.
18/03/21
Waking up at 4am - chocking. Not good.
Miriam O’Connor: different coping mechanisms - access to the studio so important - adaptability key to productivity - art to navigate trauma in life - art practice is tool for survival
Austin Ivers: teetering between the two poles of anxiety and boredom.
19/03/21
Really enjoyed taking part in the panel talk yesterday and the podcast is out today. So happy it was recorded before my voice left me completely.
20/03/21
Darkness in control.
“O.G.S.” - Steps are really annoying me. In hindsight I probably would have set the steps differently. now, however, with the background nearly prefect as it is, it could be a disaster to try and adjust the steps and lose that backdrop. I have this painting by Rembrandt rolling around in my head at the minute.
What a game!
21/03/21
Should the bull’s head go black? - went a little too far with it today but it’s fixable.
25/03/21
Scaling sketches down in scanner is probably a good move. A few good drawings of old family photos tonight.
26/03/21
“T.I.O.C.” looks more like an etching at the minute.
Loose! Emphasis on LOOSE!
27/03/21
Last night was a total nightmare. Floating, panic and chased by a hooded killer. Once caught a falling sensation would wake me up but once I dozed of I was straight back into the nightmare and repeated this process around four or five times.
‘Create and curate your own archive’.
Farewell Fernand.
28/03/21
Marta Dyezkowska Talk
memory / identity / trauma
We should be able to close the door on loss.
Standing with back to camera, an act of defiance against process. Mix memory with current state.
Really enjoyed this talk today! Watching and listening in made me really nostalgic about LOFT. We should be proud of what we were able to achieve with that space.
29/03/21
“The infamy of Crete” - finished. Not perfect but pretty solid.
30/03/21
Little bit of “T.I.O.C.” was really bugging me so I crept into the studio and fixed it last night.
Today was a case of drawing up a few smaller works and putting down basic paint layers. A promising start.
31/03/21
A quick up and down trip to Belfast for an appointment.
RDH: FEBRUARY 2021
01/02/21
Blessings this morning.
…it’s not animals.
02/02/21
04/02/21
05/02/21
Some paint down but not much.
07/02/21
Trip to the Derry Vaccine Centre.
08/02/21
10/02/21
Fingers crossed.
11/02/21
Rookie mistake so sketchbook work instead.
13/02/21
Less doodle and more noodle.
15/02/21
Great news!
16/02/21
Need to make a point of getting into the studio tomorrow.
17/02/21
A lot of scraping and pushing around paint to “Washing of Hands” piece. It may be, for right now, I’m forcing works that are stagnating. As solid as they may be compositionally I feel at a loss with where to go next. Could be why I’m drawing a hell of a lot more lately - looking for other avenues?
In any case it felt great to move paint about for the first time in a while.
18/02/21
Fully intended - FROZE - self-doubt.
20/02/21
Self actualisation - making real of the inner self.
22/02/21
Back to work!
…little more interactive.
23/02/21
…collapsed. Postural hypotension.
24/02/21
HBKA!!!
25/02/21
“Titles are an extra brushstroke”
Clarification
27/02/21
Poor … way too much going on at the one time.
Reading round is back! So happy to see those faces!
Little bit of self-doubt still here. If I try to force it, the doubt seems to grow roots. Flip side of that is that you can the self-doubt can stagnate and you can then avoid going into the studio all together.
GET IN BUT NO PRESSURE
Bleached out several canvases on a spur of the moment this evening. I think starting again / fresh thinking is the best option. Out with the old.
28/02/21
Well, completely cleared the window piece. Aiming to start Spring with a spring in step so I’ve drawn up few pieces and see where they lead.
RDH: JANUARY 2021
03/01/21
‘sub cruce salus’
… too simplistic or is it hard to get ideas across?
04/01/21
Need to leave site.
05/01/21
Elevator pitch: use personal and found imagery to explore notions of trauma, memory and experience. (13 words, 83 characters)
imagery with personal connection - greater impact?
large scale drawings = link between sketchbook and canvas.
06/01/21
FORM —> CONTENT —> FORM —> CONTENT …
Can you distil the feeling of an image?
Play with gesture.
…adding just for the sake doesn’t cut it. Integrate if it adds to a message.
07/01/21
08/01/21
Growing uncertainty in other areas is just leading to this “deer in headlights” feeling.
09/01/21
Lists are all well and good but to get making again ; that’s what it’s all about.
10/01/21
Passionate about painting / drawing and interplay between the mark-making of both processes… juxtaposing imagery. How do they sit together?
11/01/21
Still have to show though.
12/01/21
16/01/21
A little slow to get in today but four canvas pieces off the starting block which makes up for it.
18/01/21
21/01/21
…in a jar for the day.
23/01/21
25/01/21
Sketchbook work
27/01/21
…days just melting into each other.
28/01/21
Not one but two zooms this evening.
29/01/21
Some surprising paint down today. Loosely does it.
30/01/21
Cold.
RDH: DECEMBER 2020
01/12/20
…wrapping
Ars longa, vita brevis.
02/12/20
‘A Brush with… Ragnar Kjartansson’ podcast
“Art is a shelter from a storm” - Ragnar Kjartansson
03/12/20
An opportunistic pitch to pat themselves on the back.
04/12/20
NT - how you might approach and on what grounds.
06/12/20
“Norwegian” notes: warmer flesh tones? Texture in sand (sawdust?)
07/12/20
Some really good sketchbook work done tonight.
10/12/20
Commended for the Moth Art Prize 2020!
Thought I had destroyed “Norwegian Stance” a few times today but it’s a stubborn git. In any case it was good to get paint down.
…some sketching work tonight but not much.
11/12/20
One minute I think the painting is finished and then a wee niggly bit pops up.
14/12/20
15/12/20
Belfast. Three months on…
Seeing “Hotel ‘78” with the name tag beside it made it all the more real. Great to see around the RUA.
Jaunt to the Golden Thread Gallery. Absolutely stunning show “Put It To The People” by Joy Gerrard. I’ve seen similar small scale works before but the larger canvases are amazing! Real gestural mark making at it’s finest.
The Peter Liversidge show in the MAC is at such an epic scale. Uplifting messages and cool to see the workstation tucked away at the back. The “In a Rainbow of Coalitions” show in the MAC was colourful, fun and poignant.
18/12/20
What’s been lacking recently is the idea of structure. Lists are missing. I love lists. I think this happens around this time every year.
… large scaled drawings - add a link between the pen drawings and paintings…
20/12/20
23/12/20
27/12/20
Inspiration is not reliable. Keep curious and critical. You don’t know everything and never will. Perfect conditions don’t exist so stop waiting for the ‘right’ time. Art is not who you are - art is a way of expressing who you are.
29/12/20
Tidying loose ends.
30/12/20
Doing these semi-traditional write ups at this time of year helps to take stock of what’s been happening. Hopefully subliminal pointers of where to possibly go next have been planted for the time ahead.
RDH: NOVEMBER 2020
01/11/20
Focus required…
…reaching it back to integrity of practice.
Large scale drawings?
02/11/20
03/11/20
Great to get imagery into some semblance of order.
“Thinking through making.” - Joy Gerrard during interview with GTG. Watch here.
06/11/20
07/11/20
08/11/20
…settling back into a new routine… still healing.
10/11/20
11/11/20
IMMA Talk: From the Rego Studio.
13/11/20
Limbo-Land yet again.
14/11/20
Finding it difficult to concentrate with all going on. Just wish that aspects were sorted so that some kind of routine could be adhered to.
Some results but not all.
…giving up the ghost on the little ‘go cart’ piece. It just went stale but that’s OK. It wasn’t the right time.
16/11/20
19/11/20
Absolutely baltic in the studio.
20/11/20
Mostly focused on “Norwegian Nude” today but building up layers on other pieces too.
22/11/20
Really good progress today.
23/11/20
BP 158/113
26/11/20
Site update
27/11/20
Really great online talk from the Garter Lane Arts Centre: Chloe Austin in conversation with Matt Higgs, Kitsch Doom, and Ciara O Neill.
Did a few quick sketch of the speakers as they discussed their practices.
29/11/20
…readjust, centre, breathe and focus on what matters.
30/11/20
After having a long, hard look at “Troublesome” - came to the realisation that figure is complete. Nice to leave it loose in parts. It explains what it needs to without having to divulge anything else.
Bit of building work in the background and it’s finished.
Decorations are up and a little winter halo to round off a very odd month.
RDH: OCTOBER 2020
02/10/20
Prepping studio for visit
03/10/20
GT Reading Round returns!
-inbuilt desire to want something out of ourselves.
04/10/20
Sketchbook work.
06/10/20
MRI scan. Very loud.
Some progress on the little boy piece that was swiftly undone.
07/10/20
Materials ordered.
10/10/20
World Mental Health Day.
Very happy to have been asked to take part in the second day of Reimagine, Remake Replay’s mental health festival - Head and Heart.
Got a little emotional at one point but that is OK. In good company.
11/10/20
Real struggle to focus the past week. Probably the least productive day in the studio since March.
12/10/20
15/10/20
Buck up ideas. Foot off the gas.
16/10/20
With new restrictions in place, there will be no Belfast visit tomorrow sadly.
17/10/20
Started two new canvases today. Not sure what’s up. For a while I thought it was the imagery that isn’t exciting enough but I don’t know anymore.
18/10/20
22/10/20
“Silence is Golden” finished.
24/10/20
Surround Sound!
26/10/20
Painting work. (‘Misunderstood’ as a wee inside joke?)
The little go-cart piece - tougher than expected.
Two tone might be an option - like voyage home and G’OK.
27/10/20
Out of sorts.
20 paintings since March - hard to believe.
29/10/20
‘Confessional’ home safe and sound. Thanks to University of Atypical for their support and patience.
30/10/20
31/10/20
Radio Three’s Sunday Feature: Tate Modern - Exploding the Canon
With the darker evenings and the colder weather setting in, it’s not a surprise that studio time has dwindled. This shouldn’t mean that productive time goes to waste. I have been doing sketchbook work more and now is a good time to research other creative outlets.
○○○
RDH: SEPTEMBER 2020
01/09/20
Power is out.
02/09/20
The Rashomon Effect: When the same event is described in significantly different and often contradictory ways by people who were involved.
03/09/20
I do feel a little stuck with the Crimean Painting. Some sketchbook work - get back to the drawing board.
06/09/20
Death Masks: bottling the soul, bottling the trauma.
08/09/20
Very strange few days. ‘Taking Orders’ painting - just not sure where to go with it. Leaving it aside for now and having a look at adding a recent sketch and incorporating it into an old abandoned piece. The only good thing I can see in the failed ‘St. Lurach’s’ work is that weeping willow to the left. It should stay in some capacity.
Very lethargic for some reason.
Thoughts = NOT A REALIST PAINTER!!!
Lifelike/ reality isn’t what I’m aiming for in drawing or painting. Yes, sometimes a more realistic application or approach is required depending on what the image dictates. EG: ‘GO’K’ works in that it hints at realism but ultimately leaves the majority of the portrait minimal - barely any detail. This is not just limited to composition, but especially colour I think.
10/09/20
Belfast bound.
So good to get to the MAC for the degree shows from the Belfast School of Art.
‘Confessional’ reopening was great! It’s a show I’m very proud of.
12/09/20
Some good progress on ‘The Voyage Home’. Less is more - even on this scale I think. Suits the image and composition well.
13/09/20
Finished!
15/09/20
Halfway through September! HOW?!?!
Figuring out ideas for next steps and possibilities. Good to get some sketching done tonight. Forgot how accessible sketching smaller than A4 is.
18/09/20
Guston and de Kooning - both developed making works with a ‘formula’ able to commercialise work / work that could be made in their sleep and sell no problem. Both rejected this formula and started again.
Integrity.
‘Elizabeth’ and ‘Mary Ann’ studies - the looser the better.
20/09/20
I think I’m coming close to a mini burn out as far as studio work is concerned. Might be good to take a step back, read and research for a few days and see where we are.
22/09/20
Finished the little portrait studies. Really different approach but that’s no bad thing. Started some new canvases.
“Art is a wound turned into light.”
23/09/20
Research - that’s about it.
24/09/20
Some good progress in the studio today.
25/09/20
Got scared very easily.
Sketchbook work.
26/09/20
Five canvases on the go at the minute. Best to focus on one or two at a time. First up., ‘Waiting Room’. It’s been a while from I attempted this image.
Seats / Symbols?
27/09/20
What was light at the end of the tunnel has turned into a dark abyss. Shrug it off and keep going.
28/09/20
Sketching
29/09/20
So the past few days have seen a real drop in productivity and drive. Reasons or not —> focusing on work will help. Taking a mini break will also help. Easy to fall into old, procrastinating habits.
Meaty questions.
30/09/20
Studio all clean and tidy!
RDH: AUGUST 2020
01/08/20
So saddened to hear of the passing of Chris Ledger. She was a true friend of the arts in NI and helped me in both a professional and personal capacity. Her tenacity and drive will be sorely missed.
02/08/20
03/08/20
‘Seashore Jester’ … over-painted to the point of no return - burnt and slashed. Good progress on “Enfield Study” though.
It’s finally happened! I’ve had a little painting accepted into this year’s RUA exhibition!
04/08/20
Wee day off.
05/08/20
Watched ‘Apocalypse Now’ properly for the first time. The real animal sacrifice at the end was disturbing.
06/08/20
Sketched out some new canvases including a narrow set for a triptych.
Object connected to the figure rather than the figure itself so may need to rethink the centre canvas.
…a few people have told me how “Enfield Study” disturbs them and makes them feel uncomfortable. So a job well done.
07/08/20
10/08/20
Greenberg vs Read (HANDBAGS!)
Sketchbook work.
14/08/20
Jenny Saville in the “A Brush With” podcast is great!
When asked what is art for, Saville replies:
“Art is for life. Art is for survival. You know it’s a shock of recognition that you feel a sense of belonging you recognise yourself in the world. I really believe it’s for survival. It’s intrinsic to being human. We either have to make marks or it’s like singing or making music. It’s fundamental to being a human being. I can’t imagine doing anything else. When I’m in the process of painting I feel very in touch with myself in a sense that nothing else I’ve ever done in my life does.”
16/08/20
Nothing the past few days due to another trip to the hospital.
18/08/20
One year to go.
19/08/20
Finished “Exhibits A to C”. Good to get painting again after a little setback. Chuffed to be names Catalyst Art’s Member of the Month for August!
20/08/20
Some good studio time in today.
21/08/20
“A painting which is from a specific photograph - you have to go beyond the photograph so you have to make the paint do something and once it gets a nature of itself then it belongs to the world and it takes a long time to get be in that field.”
Jenny Saville (link for interview here)
23/08/20
“Avarice is the enemy of virtue.”
Leon Battista Alberti
Sketching and mostly failing.
25/08/20
Studio time but nothing too strenuous.
Great to have a virtual catch up with UoA folk!
29/08/20
Trauma is inarticulate.
31/08/20
RDH: JULY 2020
01/07/20
Some more Matisse-inspired bamboo work for shapes in the foreground and that’s the large painting finished! Title to be confirmed later.
02/07/20
Abrupt awakening.
So “The Hill of the Red Witch” it is. Very close.
Eventually got some good ground work down on two new pieces. Some human hair included.
Great Julie Curtiss talk with Brooklyn Rail.
03/07/20
LOFT
2013 - 2015: 14 works (over 3 years)
LISNAMUCK
2016 - 2018: 36 works (over 3 years)
2019 - June 2020: 16 works (in 18 months)
That’s crazy!
04/07/20
05/07/20
QUESTIONS
07/07/20
Working out left hand on “L.O.” is tough. It’s not the shape of it but the lay of the fingers that’s the bother. Pre-mixing … is needed to unify the hands and face. It’s the difference in definition between the upper and lower hands that are jarring a bit.
Days that just don’t go your way. THUMB NEEDS TO BE A FRACTION LONGER!
08/07/20
Working method today is attacking the canvas in micro stages.
NON FINITO = nice idea.
Does something have to look finished before being deemed complete?
…I limped home tonight. Painted for nearly 11 hours. Not sure if “Left Out” is done, but it’s bloody close.
09/07/20
… Yes it’s there!
10/07/20
Priming, studio cleaning and two little pieces drawn up. Interior one has promise.
11/07/20
The Ruination of the World.
“Rock Pool Memory” - the original drawing is not exact and so the dimensions are a little skew-whiff. Possibly why the painting is not coming together.
12/07/20
Horrible day painting but at least it beats not doing anything at all! “Rock Pool Memory” is just that - a memory.
A sense of critical…. ?
14/07/20
Such as strange pain down arms and shoulders last night. Shake it off or…
Trip to A&E - allergic reaction to insect bites. The usual then.
15/07/20
Studio time.
Nice chat with Chloe, Dominic and Niamh - some interesting discussions.
16/07/20
A nice dull background on “Seashore Jester”.
17/07/20
Applied … again.
18/07/20
Solid studio day. Resurrected “Rock Pool Memory”. Tonal values not there on “Seashore Jester” just yet but happy enough so far. Stumbled across the old Enfield painting that I abandoned four years ago. Decided to give it another crack.
19/07/20
21/07/20
Been a few days of home improvements.
24/07/20
Sketched out little commission and cleaned out palette.
Martha Tuttle talk on Brooklyn Rail excellent! Links to antiquity and the tactility of the work is fascinating.
26/07/20
The past few days I’ve literally been going round in circles with “Rock Pool Memory”. Originally I thought executing the proportions properly would have solved any issues that were cropping up but no. I think I’m in two/three minds as to how to approach it so perhaps shelving it isn’t a bad idea for now.
27/07/20
I think it’s important to take a step back sometimes and focus on other elements of practice. So today is a drawing and research day.
“ARS LONGA, VITA BREVIS”
“ART IS LONG, LIFE IS SHORT” the reversed first two lines of Hippocrates’ ‘Aphorismi’
Nearly six hours of sketchbook work today.
28/07/20
Did not expect to but “Rock Pool Memory” is finished. It really has been an unprecedented time of creativity. Silver lining in a weird and unnerving time.
29/07/20
The Troxler Effect - monsters in the mirror.
30/07/20
Short stint today, Slow progress but progress nonetheless.
31/07/20
Parts looks OK and then others are close to the point of madness. At least the dead crab looks well.
RDH: JUNE 2020
01/06/20
Clarify your eye.
Mixed what was left on the palette after 7 weeks of caking. It produced this gorgeous black / green hue perfect for the large canvas. Dad gave me a hand to clean it as I only have one at the minute.
02/06/20
In two minds but some good ground work. VAI café now with Alan Phelan and Ursula Burke.
UB: Being a witness to what has been happening.
UB: Bridging the gap between antiquity and the contemporary.
AP: John Joly Photography method
03/06/20
Hospital appointment: I can take the wrist support off!
Painting again. Very very rusty but such a nice feeling to be standing in the studio again.
…there are areas that work really well (the transparency of the plates in the skull). Painterly approach. Pretty much the rest is just clunky and stale.
04/06/20
The following quotes are from ‘Theories of Modern Art: A Source Book by Artists and Critics’ by Herschel B. Chipp:
“The source of all inspirations. Whether the artist works directly from nature from memory, or from fantasy, nature is always the source of his creative impulses.”
Hans Hofman - on the topic of nature.
“…a synthesis from the artist’s standpoint of matter, space and colour. Creation is not a reproduction of observed fact”
Hans Hofmann - on the topic of creation.
05/06/20
Mucked up.
06/06/20
Built up layers on two smaller pieces. They are at that stage when there is something missing - limbo.
‘Circular Lapse’ was in that place until the overlapping discs were added. Patience.
07/06/20
“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”
Salvador Dali
Put the brakes on today.
08/06/20
New projector at long last. It doesn’t move an inch!
09/06/20
Got to using a brush at the end of a bamboo cane like Matisse used to.
“It was in me like the rhythm that carried me along. I had the surface in my head.”
Henri Matisse - on the use of bamboo tool
Visual and bodily. Some good progress today.
10/06/20
Troy Michie Talk Art was very good.
Finished “Beatrice Study” but paid the price; head is banging. Am I doing too much too soon?
11/06/20
Well today was a write off. Spent several hours at the Royal in Belfast looking for answers to the pounding head and the potential CSF leakages. Feels like recovery has taken a step back by a few weeks.
13/06/20
Trebuchet magazine has arrived and some updates to website.
15/06/20
Slept in.
Would love to visit the Christo and Jeanne-Claude covering of the Arc de Triomphe in October 2021.
Studio time feels a little panicked for some reason. Settle the head.
Now I.N.A.R.P. but I think there comes a level of pressure when you are personally and emotionally connected to a person to try and capture them as they once were. Settle the head and shake it off!
Well - you do get days of going backwards. Pre-mix before committing?
Cinematic tropes to frame personal trauma - à la Roxanna Halls.
16/06/20
Really early start. Seems to have worked - finished “Back in my Day”. When in a certain frame of mind I seem to work quickly. Time is something I have in spades at the moment. Have probably over-painted areas (hands) but best leaving it as is and moving on.
17/06/20
Drawing and tonal work to “Race to the Bottom” - working title.
18/06/20
…any shout of a practical day in the studio has disappeared. May be a blessing in disguise though as it’s probably best that I don’t spend every day standing in the garage through this recovery period.
20/06/20
…in terms of “RttB”, washes are or will probably key to keeping the action / immediacy of the figures alive.
Really pleased with how some of the facial work turned out today and I think the differing tones of navy/blue/grey will work.
22/06/20
2pm start - better than not starting at all I guess. After a few hours of frustration it was decided to just omit the second figure from the left. Eventually made more sense compositionally - balancing out the tumbling ensemble.
Need to be careful.
23/06/20
Different perspectives - slightly out of focus.
Am I too picky?
Over six hours of really solid drawing time today.
24/06/20
Two canvases primed. Focus vision and work on that one element. It isn’t a race.
25/06/20
Before I literally wipe the slate (palette) clean - could I use those silky black colours on the large canvas? Probably shouldn’t have got up at 5am. Eyes are rolling in head and its only 10:16am…
…waiting on a phone call. It was 47 minutes later than scheduled and on the phone call they decided to reschedule and to expect a phone call next week…
On third wind now but thought it best to call it a day before setting out the stall entirely.
‘A cup of clarity from the clarity flute.’
26/06/20
Unified the sky of the large canvas with a thick thick covering of velvety black paint. Pushing the oppressive sky downwards closing in on the running figures. Claustrophobic.
Now, learn from previous over meddling mistakes and move on!
Michael Armitage talk from Brooklyn Rail was fantastic! Got to ask a question too!
27/06/20
Really need to sort out a decent sleeping pattern.
28/06/20
Charcoal work today and not much else. Notes and revising for a presentation.
29/06/20
Very very close. Addition of the poppy. Centuries ago, the poppy was known as the witch’s flower. This is where the Irish for poppy comes from as ‘cailleach dhearg’ translates to ‘red hag’.
30/06/20
VAI Show and Tell: Northern Ireland addition. Delighted to have taken part.
RDH: MAY 2020
01/05/20
Finding a new normal.
02/05/20
…so not just images / maps / diagrams but also fears: nightmares.
Where are you?
What’s your date of birth?
What’s today’s date?
Do you know why you are here?
Who is the Prime minister?
Lift both arms
Push against me.
Follow my finger.
Any dizziness? Nausea?
…cover the eyes.
05/05/20
VAI’s café: So good to see what Cecilia Danell is up to in lockdown.
06/05/20
Tried drawing. Didn’t go well. It’s going to take longer than first thought to get back to creative work. Super frustrating.
11/05/20
Head is so sore today. Silver lining: Jerry Saltz’s “How to Be an Artist” arrived today.
12/05/20
…avoid little voice neigh-saying in your head. All topics are valid.
utilise R.D. more.
…with found imagery, find and explore that connection to your own experiences.
You never stop learning or looking for new ways to work.
Sharpen observational skills. Draw from experience.
Over-analysing? Maybe.
“A work of art cannot depend on explanation” - Jerry Saltz
14/05/20
Really enjoyed the webinar from VAI with CCA’s Catherine Hemelryk
INTEGRITY!
16/05/20
National Drawing Day. Really good to sit down and just draw today. Did a live-stream where I set up a still life and a few people drew along.
17/05/20
John Berger is always a good read.
18/05/20
Sketchbook work
19/05/20
VAI café
Orla Whelan: existential questions - preoccupation with death. Philosophical exploration.
Another little bit of late night sketching.
22/05/20
The virtual opening of the Catalyst Members Show.
More late night sketchbook work.
24/05/20
“An artists’ job is to reflect the time we live in.” - Nina Simone
26/05/20
“Using line to make visual texture” - Fiona Rae on Dürer
27/05/20
28/05/20
Started teaching my dad how to stretch canvas as I can’t at the moment.
Apparently I have the same birthday as Edward Hopper.
30/05/20
31/05/20
“At root, truth to painting is truth to light.” - Juliam Barnes
RDH: APRIL 2020
Ovid’s ‘Metamorphoses’ - The ethics of looking.
05/04/20
Not sure if attempting “The Ferryman” on this scale is the right move.
The falling boy: “Full of Grace”.
Blocking.
06/04/20
Commissions
“If your art doesn’t reflect your family and community then what’s the point?”
Dale Harding - Tateshots
07/04/20
Happy anniversary JG!
Applications.
Never rains but it pours! Buckets needed.
08/04/20
Very funny search for a protractor.
09/04/20
Farcical.
Eventually got to painting after helping with a birdbox.
10/04/20
Should have been “Confessional” exhibition’s natural end.
11/04/20
Such a battle with “Inside Man” at the minute. Struggling with that balance of realistic approach and the drawing mark.
It’s been a while: “I AM NOT A REALIST PAINTER!”
12/04/20
13/04/20
Not overly happy with the finality of “Inside Man” but best to finish up now before I properly overcook it.
14/04/20
All but finished another painting. It’s very strange times indeed.
15/04/20
16/04/20
Six hours and I’m pretty much no further forward than when I started. Going to have to take a completely different route to accomplish this. It would help if I had a goal in mind. Detailed vs Out of Focus. In between? Trying to tackle the green slab all at once isn’t working.
17/04/20
18/04/20
21/04/20
Little talk with VAI’s online café went well with really nice feedback on work in progress and the studio set up.
22/04/20
Meetings.
23/04/20
24/04/20
Need to box up and send off!
25/04/20
Reset. Breathe.
26/04/20
Looking. So important. Doesn’t mean you can’t allow for spontaneity or randomness in the process.
“Ferryman” is finished!
27/04/20
A cartwheel with no floor. CT Scans reveal right-sided skull vault fracture and subdural haematoma. Off to Royal Victoria Hospital.
30/04/20
Out of hospital. Time to start recovery process.
RDH: MARCH 2020
01/03/20
Focus turns to show opening.
03/03/20
Spend a little time looking and you might find a way in. Now at that limbo stage with “No Remorse”. Compositionally solid but colours and painterly gestures are off.
Surprising bound forward on “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Face is mask-like (maybe a good thing?)
05/03/20
Nervous as hell. First stop - Ursula Burke in the Ulster Museum. Wonderful scope and the wall mural is stunning. A quick jaunt into town - in GT’s “Dissolving Histories” I especially liked Stuart Calvin’s work. Great to see Dougal McKenzie’s project space show “More Bad News”. Beautiful little touches.
Next onto the MAC for Mark Garry’s “Songs and the Soil”. Placed over the three galleries, the work is immersive and stunning.
Helped with the last little touches to the show prep. Great turnout for Late Night Art and the feedback has knocked me back - in the best possible way. Really not good at taking compliments. Marcus Keeley came by for a chat in the store room for his “Instant Feedback” podcast.
06/03/20
Wee stay with Jane. A beautiful house and a beautiful soul. Finally got to visit QSS for “Four Female Painters” exhibition. Amazing space and great work. Alana Barton’s piece “Blossom” made me cry and not even ashamed to say it. It struck a nerve. The delicacy of the child’s little fingers touching the adult’s hair. Beautifully painted.
Took myself back to re-watch Mark Garry’s videos in the MAC. The close up recordings of the horses is haunting and strangely intimate.
08/03/20
Few days off but little updates online here and there.
11/03/20
Sketchbook work
14/03/20
Scary times. Back to the looking phase. It seems to help.
Self Portrait: face is still very mask-like. Reminds me of a still from “Les yeux sans visage”.
…knowing when to quit for the day is important.
15/03/20
Slow burning day but when I eventually got to studio and began making real progress, the power goes off!
Serves me right for getting ahead of myself.
16/03/20
The “In Conversation” that was to take place with the show in Atypical has rightly been postponed due to ongoing circumstances.
18/03/20
Have to self-isolate for 14 days. The worries mount.
22/03/20
Sketchbook work for the first time in 11 days. Feels like a lifetime.
Is there a better, more cohesive way to go about the drawing side of practice?
I think immediacy, or the notion of immediacy, is still important.
24/03/20
Transferred some recent drawings to acetate.
STEP UP!
25/03/20
Studio time with Radiohead.
26/03/20
A bit of sketching but mainly organising imagery.
“There’s no point in worryin’ what ye can’t control.”
BAK
“No Remorse” is finished. There are parts that still annoy but all in all pleased to it’s best to leave it and move on.
28/03/20
Pushing and pulling with “Self Portrait with Sketchbook”. Frustrating but really fun at the same time!
29/03/20
Cleaning palette and studio up. Also stripped the background of “SPwS”. Too similar to the skin tones and made the canvas seem quite flat.
30/03/20
So bloody close!
31/03/20
Last day of quarantine.
Great to take part in the VAI online café and to get an insight into Tinka Bechert’s wonderful work.
“SPwS” finished. It is very wonky as it’s taken from a very wonky sketch from a few years ago but there’s something about the sketch that made me want to try and develop it into a painting for quite some time.
RDH: FEBRUARY 2020
01/02/20
Right, get paint down! Started two little pieces today and “The Crown of Dionysus” is complete"!
02/02/20
The last palindrome day for another 111 years. Damn rugby is distracting!
03/02/20
Parcel.
06/02/20
“Religion decays, the icon remains; a narrative is forgotten, yet its representation still magnetises (the ignorant eye triumphs - how galling for the informed eye).”
Julian Barnes - ‘Géricault: Catastrophe into Art’
“No sooner do we come into this world, than bits of us start to fall off.”
Gustave Flaubert
09/02/20
Using storm Ciara to aid in the drying process.
10/02/20
Submission started.
Mobile installation?
11/02/20
…might be a little out there. Will sit on it for a while.
“Laziness is a sign of mediocrity.”
Voltaire
15/02/20
Visit by Jane and Hugh.
Victim / Perpetrator / Both
linking current work.
17/02/20
All pieces are wrapped and ready to go.
21/02/20
Slight change of plan.
23/02/20
25/02/20
Nerves are shredded already!
26/02/20
Work is on its way.
27/02/20
Well that’s it! Install complete I’m really happy with the exhibition and now it’s a waiting game for the opening.
29/02/20
Louis Fratino on Talk Art podcast.
Repeating motifs. mem: Like that odd shoulder loop that happens in drawings and then translates to paintings.
Made good progress in some areas of “Remorse” (bodies) but mostly have over painted to the point where I can’t put anything else down. Better to walk away now and go again another day than to push it over the edge today. Have reintroduced some rough drawing elements into the background.
RDH: JANUARY 2020
01/01/20
New Decade. A quiet start to the year but with a feeling of resolve and drive to get things done.
02/01/20
“For the dead travel fast.” - Jonathan Harker’s Journal
Bram Stoker’s Dracula
03/01/20
mem: Sickert’s approach to “Portrait of Hugh Walpole” - one of my favourites - could work. Drastic yes but by simplifying the colours… more painterly…. ambiguous.
04/01/20
The Optimism Gap: Locally good. Nationally bad.
Finished commission. Looked at Sickert and Dumas. Previously it was haggard and stale.
05/01/20
…relieved!
A lot of scanned drawings tonight.
06/01/20
Renewal
07/01/20
Five posts in five weeks.
09/01/20
“Confessional”
Potential title?
11/01/20
“No Remorse” painting is moving very very slowly.
Overthinking personal issues.
12/01/20
Belfast today.
Issues of “crown” install is mind boggling.
DIONYSUS
13/01/20
Office updating and uploading.
14/01/20
Jade Riley wrote a little piece about my practice. Chuffed!
16/01/20
Ideas with Dad for install concepts.
Hodge-Podge.
17/01/20
Bit of breathing issues but otherwise OK.
19/01/20
“Shoah” - 1985 A film by Claude Lanzmann
Eventually got out of a rut (well even a foot out of the door is good) and got sketching.
22/01/20
“To remove unwanted threads of your past (regrets or mistakes) is to undo the tapestry of your life.” - JLP
24/01/20
25/01/20
Last night I had the pleasure of attending the opening of “The Dark” in the CCA. Agnes Meyer-Brandis’ work has made me look at geese in a slightly more positive light.
Started two new canvases and pleased with the progress of “Crown of Dionysus”.
27/01/20
“Crown” finished - including wall fixing designed by Dad.
C.E.’s shouldn’t be halted until the weekend.
Finally getting around to reading the collection of art essays by Julian Barnes. I think since I got it the day I visited John in the Royal I’ve been avoiding it.
28/01/20
Late night sketching is better than no sketching at all!
30/01/20
“Time dissolves the story into form, colour, emotion. Modern and ignorant, we re-imagine the story: do we vote for the optimistic yellowing sky, or the grieving greybeard? Or do we end up believing both versions? The eye can flick from one road or one interpretation, to the other: is this what was intended?
Julian Barnes - “Géricault: Catastrophe into Art”
31/01/20
All in all a horrible day.
RDH: DECEMBER 2019
01/12/19
semiotics
02/12/19
It is never wise to stand on a plug.
UNSAFE SYMBOL
In a crisis are we all destined to retract to a small amount of predetermined protocols?
It is what we do in these scenarios that characterise who we can become - but that shouldn’t be confused with a concluded definition.
03/12/19
“Gaugin - A Dangerous Life” on BBC IPlayer
“The work of a man explains that man”
- Paul Gaugin
04/12/19
07/12/19
Really didn’t get as much done as I should have. Started commission though which is good.
08/12/19
15/12/19
A very tough week. Frustration at zero creative output. Filter and breathe.
16/12/19
… so I am grateful so for many things. The positives outweigh the negatives. It is OK to have lull bits. It is still be seen as necessary time to off load while creating space for work down the line.
Read the Room.
17/12/19
Some more sketchbook working out tonight.
20/12/19
The welcomed return of lists - getting things straightened out for the first time in a long time.
21/12/19
If all else fails, even just sitting in the studio is good. It can induce making…
Have decided to try and switch off over the holidays. Easier said than done as I’m never more than a few steps away from RD to jot thoughts/ideas down on. Will be good to spend some time away - clear some head-space.
28/12/19
2019 has been an odd year. Rejection, award, rejection, solo show, more rejection…
Making time and adhering to a schedule of sorts has to be up there with priorities in the new year. Keeping this blog going is good. Some folks say, isn’t it odd to type out what you’ve jotted down a few weeks ago but I’ve found that in order to move forward, it’s good to have a refresher of what has just preceded and digesting this helps put aims and dangers into perspective.
29/12/19
Less Flaky Would Be Good.
31/12/19
RDH: NOVEMBER 2019
01/11/19
… good job I checked…
Sketching today but no joy. How to move past this?
02/11/19
A good tidy up in the studio. “H” going well.
03/11/19
Helping Jan with some wire-wool spinning experiments.
11/11/19
Recording today and some solid sketchbook time. It’s so important. It is where ideas form and lay roots.
15/11/19
“Long years of secrecy have turned their faces into masks.” - not sure where I heard this from.
16/11/19
“Helen” finished up.
17/11/19
Consciously hold back images.
EMPATHY
22/11/19
What am I doing?
24/11/19
Delighted to have been commended in the Moth Art Prize 2019!
29/11/19
“Real painters understand with a brush in their hand.”
Need to try and make one little hour of creative work each weekday.
30/11/19
What a difference a boiler makes!
RDH: OCTOBER 2019
01/10/19
“A puncture - a level of emotion” - Zarina Bhimji
Mental health does not and should not define who we are.
03/10/19
Umbrella destroyed by storm but the opening of “Bardo” was great. Great support from friends and a wonderful text written by Gemma Murphy.
09/10/19
“Sress is the killer of creativity” - Jamian Juliano Villani
11/10/19
Doodles to burn.
12/10/19
‘Cooley’ is gone. Very stale so had to go. A really old image of Helen has replaced it. It’s been a long time since I attempted this image.
Mask and orchard idea. Sucker for attempting old failures.
17/10/19
Placed…
19/10/19
“Study of Helen” - image is nine years old and I’ve tried to tackle it many many times but only now does it feel like I am making any sort of headway. Difficult to describe. “No Regrets” - push and pull between the two images.
20/10/19
Conscious decision to limit the palette initially. Sometimes there can be too much choice - especially when starting a new piece. Thinking that by limiting colour in the first stages it can help focus in on tonal values and composition a little more.
Weekends aren’t long enough.
24/10/19
Couple kissing under a dark sky.
Geometric lines turn from canvas folds to forks of lightning.
Portrait with slightly opened lips.
26/10/19
Very impressed with the RUA show this year. Some really strong works. Also great to check out the Ulster Museum’s new acquisition of Cornelia Parker.
‘On Refusal’ in the MAC is brilliant - especially Troy Michie’s stunning collages.
Some unexpected speed curating from VAI was good fun and great to meet up with old friends.
27/10/19
Little visit to Fiona Stewart’s fabulous studio to be recorded for an upcoming podcast.
30/10/19
Applications.